Why I am Running 4 PREZ

The Jokes Are On US!

It riles me when people call my bid for the Presidency a joke. The joke isn’t my campaign, the jokes are the absurdities that we’re being fed every day in this country by both parties. The fact that I’m the only real comedian in this race (have you seen the Demopublicrats attempts at humor?), should tell you I’m completely serious. Listen, the idea of the poor bailing out the rich MUST be a joke, Right? But it’s not funny. It just lays there. It doesn’t HAVE to be good because The Two Major Parties have walled the competition OUT. Can you say Monopoly, my Fellow Americans? The Humor Departments at both branches of Politics, Inc. are in sad shape simply because they can get away with it. Why not give a professional a shot at laughing to scorn some of the biggest bloopers and blunders on the national and world stage!

Let’s be serious for just a minute: The Founding Fathers warned against a time when political parties might own the Government. I think it’s safe to say that it’s been that way for a long time, now. The fact that anyone who runs for high office is smeared as a crackpot if their ticket isn’t stamped by Democrat-Or-Republican, Inc does not speak well for Democracy. I see it as my duty as a citizen to run for public office in these troubling times. It’s becoming more obvious to more people that these endless campaign cycles just amount to two bought-and-sold parties handing the talking stick back and forth when the booing gets the loudest every couple of years. It’s Show Business, and I know a little bit about succeeding in Show Biz. I’ve gotten great ratings and not-so-great ratings, but Congress’s ratings have been under the toilet, season after season. Their show needs to be axed and they should be replaced by people who are really acting on the Public’s behalf, not acting like they are. Under the present system, our alleged public servants are forced to peddle their influence in return for big Special Interest money to line their war chests. And, win or lose, that same money goes into the pockets of big corporate media who shovel it in from both sides as they sell us the whole stale spectacle.

Yes, it sure looks like comedy to me, one poorly delivered joke after another at our expense. They tell us that instead of gun control we just need to pack more firepower when we go to the movies or church for that matter. So, the response to horrific mass shootings is “If we only had more guns!” And I’M the comedian?

Money issues are often near the top of everyone’s To Do List, so let’s go there. The super rich are richer than ever, and pay less taxes than they did under Ronald Reagan. Well, where are all these jobs the job creators are supposed to be bringing? Ready for the punch line? They’re in China. This isn’t Left Wing Propaganda or a criticism of mega-rich people, because, now, Corporations are people, as the Supreme Court, in their judicious lunacy, have declared. So come on, big Oil, Big Tobacco, Big Insurance, Big Investment firms, Big Military Contractors, and, well, just billionaires, one and all. Step up and be national heroes – join the 100%! If you guys can’t take a hit for the team, who can? I say we have to reverse the shredding of the safety net of public services for people who genuinely need them. Things were a lot better for most Americans back when things were regulated and set up to get more working people a bigger share of the pie. And, I don’t remember there being a glaring shortage of rich people during those years when our middle class grew and prospered. Big, ambitious Gov’t administered programs like the GI Bill and Social Security and Unemployment Insurance are held up to ridicule, but they’ve made the difference between having a measure of dignity in life versus abject poverty for countless millions of Americans. Lots of older Americans who identify as Conservatives practically ran to the barricades when President Bush talked about taking their Social security to Wall Street. Still, the word socialism is demonized, as if someone as outspoken as me would be promoting an authoritarian system that stifles free speech.

And how about the War on Drugs? While murderous drug cartels pile up billions of dollars and buy politicians, abused legal prescription drugs are killing more Americans than the illegal ones. Prohibition creates and enables organized crime. “War on Drugs?” Now they’re selling pills on TV that cheer up the pills they sell to cheer us up. If we have to laugh to keep from crying, can we at least get some better jokes? I’m Roseanne Barr and I approve this message.