I made fun of my family in my book

and I made fun of myself too.  I made fun of tom arnold too, and I made fun of lots of celebs.  I’m a comic and I tell jokes.  Hopefully people can have a good sense of humor about themselves and know sometimes a little joke has a little grain of truth and that is what makes it funny.  I am sorry if I have hurt your feelings. Each one of my kids is a special prize to me in the big cereal box of life.  You all joke about what a crazy bitch I am every day of your lives and I must say I handle that quite well, so be a chip off the old block and suck it up, cupcake!

 Buck is shooting three pointers with some regularity, and I am quite proud of that.  I took him to the park one day as a lad and showed him how to use mathematical trajectory to put the ball right in the basket, clean, without any net or rim.  I love basketball.  My kid is tall and lanky and quite a shooter.  not bad for a jew! 
My mom is certainly not a slut!  I just meant she was a femme fatale, and not a loose woman who had sexual relations with random men.  Although she did flirt with the neighbors to get them to do handiman jobs for her.  That is not being a slut at all.  Mother, I apologize for hurting your feelings!
jenny, I apologize for saying you are a big legged girl and that four kids are a lot of kids to take (excellent) care of (as you indeed do)!  Jeff when I said you have the looks as well as the brains of a supermodel, i meant don’t judge a book by its cover!  (something like that anyway).
Jessica got a divorce from her expensive wedding partner, and life goes on and gets better for her as she lets go of her romantic notions and gains self esteem and self reliance.
 My son Jake is very funny on camera.  I look forward to working with him soon.
 My daughter Brandi has indeed chosen a fine Jewish Husband for herself!