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Jul
02

I love all the new women comics

and wish them the greatest of success on their new television shows–lisa lampanelli, whitney cummings chelsea handler, tina fey, amy pohler joan rivers joy behar and all the rest of the funny women on tv.  I hope millions more funny women will follow me and them–women are the funny ones.  Men are of course funny as hell too, don’t get me wrong–as I told C. Hitchens (the tabloid writer who explained why men do not find women funny quite brilliantly)–“I’m funnier than any man alive.”  He was quite taken back when i said that to him.  He accused me of reverse racism or whatever you call that old bullshit card they always pull out and play.  Men can never laugh at themselves too much.  That is why I love to make fun of them.  They are truly idiots for the most part, like trapped rats addicted to their maze-trix.  At one end of the maze is a sleazy whore and they will do anything to get to her.  Why do men need to lie to themselves constantly in order to feel virile?  That is what I have always wondered.  I found as a child that mirroring them and their ways and behavior would behoove me.  I most like it when a completely sexist hog will accuse me of being a female chauvinist!  That is what I consider my highest art–mirroring and yet not underlining the obvious.  It’s funny to me, anyway.  I realize many do not find me funny at all, and I forgive them, as they know not what they do.  Yes, I have a bit of a Messianic Complex, but, all writers and comics do.  When you are the only living persons in a society who still have the guts to call a spade a spade, you will begin to feel that you were chosen for a mission, and that, oh well, you may as well go for it, like King David did.  You can be like King David…and aim your stone carefully, with the slingshot of your words.

  They want all women to be whores for them, as that is the only way they can feel sexy, so belittled and threatened by their mothers as they have been trained by their mothers to be, especially the Jewish ones who snip off the end of the boy’s genitals in the first week of his life!  No wonder we have spawned psychiatry, tool of the Devil.  Women hate men and that is why they continue to raise monsters.  Their contempt for their sons is appalling, really.  Their utter dependance on their daughters is what really drives me nuts, though–christ to be the oldest child in a family is to truly know slavery. 
 
  I understand men in a unique way–a way only a fat girl who was assless in an ass based economy can.  

.  christ this world is so over for we women.  We will all be heartless men soon, and the men will be our bitches.  the prophecy is fulfilled. I want to marry Cher’s son Chaz. 

Comments

  1. I don’t think Roseanne needs a career boost . . .She’s ROSEANNE. Just sayin’

  2. Mental Balls. I like it.

  3. Forget Chaz, marry me! lol :)

  4. Absolutely love and totally get your humor, views, and tell it like it is demeanor. I watch your show on a loop each night to unwind before bed. Dealing with a man’s world corporate company, and all the rest of the BS, it is my sanity. Thank you for being you , and giving women a voice and most of all, A PENIS!!!!!!!!! Friggin love you! I often say I have ” mental balls ” lol

  5. BathroomGirl says:

    Comedy is the only reliable cure for mental illness. You have saved my sanity a million times Roseanne! Watching your TV show on a loop, got me through some of the hardest years of my life! Thank you so much!!!!!

  6. joaby.boaby says:

    We <3 you to Vinny G!

  7. Dude, anyone that can get paid as much as you and the gang do just for getting drunk and starting drama is fine by me!! LOL! You guys are like the biggest thing in Hollywood right now, I was at a club that you guys came to in January that Paris Hilton and a few other A list celebs were at too but the club like went crazy when you, Situation, Snooki, and Jwow showed up. Security looked like they almost had to tackle people just to keep the crowds back long enough for you and the gang to walk to the VIP lounge. I’ve never seen anything like that in LA before! I can see why Roseanne would want to hang out with you, it must be a huge career boost just to be seen with you! LOL!
    The world loves you GEORGEOUS and Hollywood is as giddy as a school girl just to have a glimpse at you, keep being you cause your taking the world by storm!! xoxo

  8. Christopher Michael Ward says:

    Are you from the Jersey Shore on MTV?. Nice to meet you.

  9. thank you honey!!!! I love you too and all of my fans for all of your love and support that all of you give. You guys mean the world to me!!! :)

  10. OMFG, I love you! Will you marry me?!?
    I’ve watched the show since the beginning and your my favorite. Your so funny. The impressions you did of everyone in season 3 were hilarious. lol
    If you leave the show then my reason for watching will have stopped!! I heard you guys are each making like 8 figures a year now so just think how much richer you’d be if you stayed. Is it true that you rejected a million dollars to get naked for Playgirl Magazine?!?

  11. no connection between Mr. H and his cancer of the vocal cords, i presume…

  12. joaby.boaby says:

    ^ Vinny G from the shore?! No way!! <3

  13. Yes, I couldn’t be happier and that sounds great. Next time your in town hit me up and we’ll def have to do that!!! Follow me on Twitter and I’ll DM you my contact info!

  14. QuackQuack says:

    cut the crap. This is how I see the entertainment industry of America. You scrub my back and I will scrub your back. It is just one huge nauseating means of getting publicity. Ratings, Ratings Ratings. Money Money Money. I bet every celebrity has the hotline phone number of TMZ. The whole thing is aload of fucking crap. Just amounts to slavery addiction. Best thing to do is too throw the TV set out of the window before the whole USA becomes a Zombie Nation. I don’t think much of American TV, I think it is a utter crap. One thing for sure I aint no slave to TV.

  15. well i hope you are happy and ok–yes i get it–lets go drinking!

  16. I cannot comment too much on production but lets just say that rumors spread and I am sure you know what I mean when I say that the accusations originated from TMZ. We are allowed weekends away from taping to visit home as well as attend other appearances and bookings we have scheduled, which TMZ has reported as well, but lets just say that every cast member doesn’t leave every weekend and of course we always have paparazzi outside the house, if that helps you to draw a conclusion…

  17. i heard you left the show??

  18. Great article, love! My other cast mates as well as myself on my own show think all of your work is splendid. Keep it up and good luck with your new series. Hopefully you hold no resentment towards myself or the other men on my show and if not then hit me up when your in NYC next and maybe we can meet, we end taping at the end of the month!!! :)

  19. I understand, and I am guilty of the same thing. It is my responsibility to reach out to those who do not understand what it means to be gay. The people who hate me without knowing me. But I don’t because, in the end, I guess it all comes down to fear. So it’s easier to be with people like me. To “preach to the choir”, if you will.

  20. I have found it more effective and meaningful to live my feminism, instead of feeling the need to explain and qualify. I look forward to and enjoy the opportunity to discuss thoughts, ideas, feelings…and in my world it usually comes from my children and their partners/significant others and friends. They tend to be far more receptive to exchange than the men (and women) of my age in this small conservative midwestern farm community where I live. That is why I am also so appreciative for Roseanne and her blog!

  21. Maybe you should explain your feminism to men. It seems to me that you would be one of the best examples, as is Roseanne. We are all responsible, aren’t we?

  22. joaby.boaby says:

    This entire blog entry made me lol, especially the end part. The replies too. =D Roseanne still has it in spades! Hahaa…

  23. Christopher Michael Ward says:

    I think females are funnier then men most of the time, but i like the male comics too. My friend is Jason Stuart do you know him Roseanne?. Have you seen Joan River,s Movie A Piece of work?, truely a good movie.

  24. joaby.boaby says:

    lmao!

  25. Gay men are the only true Alpha Males. Not that all gay men are, but the men that are, are gay.

  26. twistedmonkee says:

    we all get it, and love you for it. not only do i wish we could stop it in other countries, i wish we could stop it here. noone understands how it affects your whole life to be treated as a whore for no apparent reason. or a child of incest, its all just tossed aside like a bag of trash. women need to stand up and take control of the world! BARR 2012….PLEASE!

  27. Roseanne, thank you for having the courage to say what you feel and think and mean to say! I refuse to explain my feminism to any man…it is my own…and I have crawled over broken glass to get to where I am (born in the mid 50’s, survived the 60’s, married for 30 years, raised four kids). I am NOT responsible for the evolution or enlightment the males that have driven the planet to it’s current condition with the patriarchal mindset of ‘power over’..’rape & pillage’..’slash & burn’..’seek and destroy’!
    Keep on putting your message out there Roseanne! I get it!