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Apr
19

i want a roseanne impersonater at my funeral

who will read “about the author” from my new book, ‘Roseannearchy, dispatches from the nutfarm.’

Comments

  1. Christopher Michael Ward says:

    Ask Jackie Beat. She is your friend and she is a very good drag queen. Or Rupaul is good too.

  2. Jason Bagshaw says:

    Thu April 21. A nice sunny morning here in Kentucky.

  3. Impersonator,hell R.IN 30,40Yrs. you will be able to have your own clone,screw the imper.

  4. God forbid that should happen for a long long time hun cuz we would all be heart broken and miss you terribly. I’ll be your impersonator though, I get told I look like you quite often lol

  5. fuck it- you’re great- an impersonator can’t even match. i’ll just be myself and do it- and with all I’ve learned from your genius – i can hopefully evoke the spirit of you and do a good job. (which btw i just finished the book yesterday- amazing.)

  6. I’m sure you could find a few great woman to play the part of Roseanne Conner, but Roseanne Barr? There is only one Roseanne. Any impersonater that attempts to be you, well..Good luck.
    And, I hope it doesn’t happen anytime soon, because I will miss you, but if your life gets cut short by an angry razor-tusked boar while shooting at it drunk on your Kawasaki Mule in preparation for a lua bar mitzvah for Buster, please tell your best pal that I said,”Hi.”

  7. It just all seems very peculiar and there has to be more to it then the public knows because according to the documentary of this women her DNA matches not only the person who sent her that letter who claims to be Elvis but also matches one of Elvis’ first cousins who volunteered to a DNA test, but yet doesn’t match the only publicly known DNA of Elvis and the publicly known DNA doesn’t even match his own cousins—-And then there’s just the obvious of why his tombstone misspells his middle name when Vernon would have never allowed that or why his coffin had a cooling system installed and the body looked like a younger Elvis instead of the older bloated one like he was at the time of his death and also why the family has still to this day never collected on his insurance policy, given they are very rich but still, why pay into a policy you’ll never collect on.

  8. Maybe when you die Roseanne it will be like Elvis and Roseanne impersonators will be everywhere and almost half the population won’t even believe its true.
    Speaking of which, your friends with Lisa Marie, do you know the truth about him? I heard that when she was married to Nicolas Cage that he was like a big Elvis buff and she wouldn’t discuss it with him and he was even never allowed to the second floor. For the last couple of years I’ve been curious if he actually did die ever since I heard about Eliza Presley, who just recently took a DNA test that proved that she was Elvis’ half sister and just recently got a judge to put a freeze on Vernon Presley’s estate. Also she says that Elvis is still alive because she received a letter from him that was licked with DNA that match’s hers as well, and explains why he faked his death and everything and included a picture of him at 70 years old holding Lisa Marie’s son when the boy was like 2 years old.

  9. Anne Kissel is the BEST Roseanne impersonator. Here’s a video of when she impersonated Roseanne on “The Next Best Thing” She’s really good!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CM4hvnwbHLU

  10. I meant to say ‘IF’ I outlive you – forgot the IF.

  11. Roseanne! Please don’t talk about such things – I don’t even want to think about that. But I outlive you, I’ll be there for you, for anything I can help you with! But please, let this be decades away!

  12. See if you can book Anne Kissel…I hear she is really good.