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so far, sales are not what we had hoped for…

but I appreciate all of you that have bought the book and hope that it continues to reach more people!  I wrote the book because I really wanted people to gain strength from my story–so I have decided to excerpt some of the book here for people to read–


Chosen and Humbled


I knew at a young age that I loved being the center of attention, singing and dancing and making my family laugh and lifting their spirits–that way I could avoid having to talk to them almost completely. They were hairy and smelled like herring, garlic, and onions, and shrieked at each other in loud shrill tones.

But they were a great audience, and to me, that pretty much made up for the fact that I had to be around them all the time. I never really bonded with them, or with anyone on Earth really, until I had children of my own, who now wish I would just shut up and leave them alone. But I can’t, not now, not after all I have been through.

            Almost everyone in my family was musical and played an instrument and sang and loved to show off, so I was no stranger to it. During my brilliant and audacious performances, my family constantly remarked that they thought I sang like Shirley Temple, only way better and a lot more adorably, and that my dancing made hers look contrived and boring. I humbly accepted their assessments and believed them to be true.

After all, my own grandmother, Mary Bitnam, had left her town of Aborniki, Lithuania, to move to the United States after being accepted at the Salt Lake City Conservatory of Music, so she knew something about the arts!


 She played the ukulele and other stringed instruments and sang soprano. She performed at weddings and bar mitzvahs until she married her husband, Ben Davis, whose father was Utah’s only kosher butcher.

She encouraged me to sing and dance and tell jokes every Friday night, Shabbat, in the windowsill of her living room after everyone had gorged on her brisket. She also talked about God all the time, and the importance of being honest and obedient to Him, so I figured that she was honest with me about my singing and dancing talents.

My family would laugh and clap, adoring everything that came out of my mouth and every move I made–every twirl, every note, every word I said. I was the first grandchild, niece, and daughter in my extended family, and therefore, I was spoiled rotten until I became dissociative and narcissistic enough to imagine myself to be “special” as well as “chosen.”

 It did not occur to me at that young age that empty flattery is actually quite toxic and would one day be my complete downfall. 

Click here to continue reading…Chapter 2 excerpt.doc



  1. Haven’t had much of a chance to continue reading the book (full time grad student and all), but I am about to get cracking on it again :) So far, reading it has been an absolute blast!
    Warmest regards,

  2. My kindle came today, yours was the first (and only) book I have, can’t wait to read it.

  3. Thank-you! Meditation has been helping with alot lately :)

  4. LOL- Oh my God, it is Bill- I haven’t listened to it since before I read the book and back then I didn’t yet know Bill read the preface. Sorry, Bill – I take that “robotic” descriptor back!
    I’ll leave them a “notice”.
    Of course I like it, Roseanne. THANK YOU. It will be required reading for my students when I complete my teacher’s certification.

  5. the preface is written and read by my first ex-husband, Bill Pentland–he reads his own words and they are about me becoming a comic. can you post that please –over there…the book is moving up on the nyt bestseller list. thanks for liking it!

  6. Hi, Roseanne – yes, this post is old as shit and my reply isn’t necessary, BUT- I bought the audiobook off of the iTunes store. The bastards have some robotic middle-aged man’s voice on the preview and not yours! Everyone in the comments section there is confused asking if it’s your voice on it or not. That’s probably why people aren’t buying it if you were wondering about that. I sent them an email a month ago when I bought it but they haven’t fixed it. I took it upon myself to leave a comment on it where everyone can see, informing them that, yes, the Great Roseanne Barr indeed recites every golden passage from her Book of Wisdom.
    Anyway, I listened to the whole thing in about 3(long) sittings and it was the best thing I’ve ever “read” – and I’m pretty well-read (that includes “My Life as a Woman”). It was comedic genius and I laughed my ass off to myself – especially during the first half!

  7. dashus christ says:

    Yes ,WOW -there is a spectacular message here Roseanne-the he/she/it created everyone w/ a spark from LIGHT,-so everyone would be brilliant in their own way,some have not found this beauty they hold.-and then something so obvious is that you would not be able to use your Very Bright LIGHT/ENERGIES with your Mind as i have Strongly witnessed through your MEDITATION shared w/ myself if you carried ego-it just would not be possible.Tonight is a strong Meditation also that you share w/ us.
    The seeds that grow into the Empowering Tree-We all need seeds,iv’e been trying to listen to what seeds you are putting in today
    Dr. Colin Ross is a genius as you are a va-genius
    BARR 2012 and NOW

  8. I know sometghing is going on different in my life right now. That Would explain alot. Thank-you for reading.

  9. Christopher Michael Ward says:

    I am a big of facts as well roseanne. I am sick of bullshit from everyone who is full of shit family, friends, and the world. I was taught the good people [jews.] were bad and untll i watched you on tv and talked to god i thought the good people was bad. My family lied bullshit to me abount jewish people thats why i doubt them inside my head. i hate lies and all that shit that comes with it, if you do not have facts to back up your thoughts shut the fuck up.

  10. Just bought your book, loving it so far. Holding you to your promises of enlightenment! Thanks for saying what so many are afraid to say. My now grown children spent many a Rosanne episodes with me over the years, and still tell all their friends, “Do you know who Rosanne is? If so then you know my mother”. Im mouthy, loud, fat, opinionated and gorgeous! Loved you from the beginning will love you in the end! Congratulations on making it!

  11. Bought ur book today!

  12. i strongly believe that G-d chose every single person on this earth who wants to make the connection to Light. I so appreciate all the support you show to me, Dashus. For my whole life, the fact that I have had visions and those kinds of experiences was reason for some to call me ‘crazy’, and to attempt to drug me and incarcerate/hospitalize me too. I found a way out with writing and comedy…but–I always hid these things until I was treated by a genius, Dr. Colin Ross, a healer who knows the capability of the human brain and mind.
    In my childhood, I liked the story of King David. The infinite Light asked many people if they would become Common Cause, and every one of them said, “Why me?” (they felt unworthy because Big Ego does that to people)–but David answered, “Why not me?” because he was not a slave of Big Ego (satan). think about that and see how it changes everything somehow…

  13. Facts fuel my “beliefs”—God is truth and fact–look at it like that for a little while. See how it changes everything.

  14. dashus christ says:

    I strongly believe God created/chose Roseanne to be here now and fix things back in a good environment for all of Us to live in and be.Her and God converse w/ each other,and listen to each.It is pretty easy when you see it like that.For myself it is really All about the LIGHT also-MEDITATION works for people to see and hear the Light clearly. ENLIGHTENMENT covers my word(s).
    We are so extremely fortunate to have Roseanne fighting for us and willing to be our president of these united states
    BARR 2012 and NOW

  15. Got ours! Been reading a lil nightly. Hope you have yours already

  16. Love your perspective. I think this site is a good outlet for feelings alot of us have been having about our world today, And I happen to think it is effective when you sing. Ha ha…been pretty funny too!”C.C. feels things…deep things” (beaches) lol!
    P.S. for some reason you have me pondering God again. Working at a convent in community college was the last time these thoughts have flown seriously through my head. What is it that fuels your belief so strongly exactly?

  17. I’m just gonna say it plainly without sugar coating: no one in my family would see this book and buy it, based on the cover image (yes, I come from a family of wimpy pacifists), and I wouldn’t have bought this book without the recommendation of a trusted source.
    I’m not saying it should have been different. I LOVE that image, now. Love it.
    But perhaps that kind of in-your-face bad ass challenge (annearchy!) will take longer than a couple of weeks for people to warm up to. Keep at it, Roseanne! You’re an inspiration for change (I’ll thank you in the credits of the doc I’m working on now), and I love thinking about all the other people out there that have read your book and might be inspired also. Cool!

  18. Christopher Michael Ward says:

    Roseanne dear in the book it says Chosen and Humbled is chapter 1 not 2 . But your the boss and my friend so whatever you say happens for a reason. Cheers

  19. Christopher Michael Ward says:

    Roseanne just a little FYI For You friend, I had a hard time finding your book on Jan 4th. I went to a lot of stores like wal-mart and target and no show. so i think the reason sales are down is bechuse no one can really find it. You may wanna look into this hon.

  20. Roseanne,
    I can’t wait to read your book! I may be Canadian, but we’re dealing with lots of the same bullshit over here.
    You’ve never been scared to let people know the truth. You do not conform to others’ ideals if they do not ring true for you. Being a shy and introverted 23-year-old, I’ve looked to you my whole life as a source of strength. You’ve taught me a lot, and I’ve come out of my shell quite a bit as a result, despite never knowing you personally. So, thank you!
    Take care,

  21. As soon as your book came out I bought it for my Kindle. Insightful, Funny as all get out, and made me laugh and cry. Bless you!

  22. The book totally kicks ass. Laughed out loud in places & cried in others. Mostly, Roseanne you are spot on. The capitalist Ponzi scheme! Exactly! From CH 28 “i watch in amazement as the completely restorative power of anger is being demonized in America by those would be mind controllers…”. My hope is that your book is being read by millions of us Sheeple (sleeple wake up!) everywhere & the vibration of the planet will be raised… If not, we can just laugh. Hey Roseanne, what does a baby boomer taste like? (:::shrug:::) Depends!

  23. Sorry Sis, That line was direct from season 2, “sweet dreams” Roseanne.
    Sometimes my humor is like your 9th season… hard to get.
    I get the 9th season btw. The one with Dina is my fav.
    I’ll order a book as my penance. But I really really really really want an autographed one!
    I don’t wish to be disrespectful or mean. All my best.

  24. I’ve loved u 4 so sooo long, Iread 1 of your otherbooks, and i coulnd,nt put it down, Ibelieve god does talk 2 us like u say, it’s just sometime we refuse 2 hear it, cause like stress,kids, spouses, Even though I can say I waited along time 4 him, And now were just content being together, until my kids, or there kids need something, i love them all,But i’m a newlywed of 6 years, and my heart rases everytime he comes home still, we just need space, people need 2 allow us that pease even if it’s just 4 a hug, ya know, we have so much in common, and i wish i had a nut farm, but lousily doing roses, u really touch me its like talking 2 my sisters and i miss them so. long story short! let me know when u will b in town, i’ll send love flowers, &most of all laughter. u are truly beautiful inside aqnd out, i meant that in the most respectful way, get this Ellen degenerous broke my p.c doing a give away, 2 scared 2 try again my husband wood kill me! got 2 back 2 chapter 2, sincerly a big fan, sorry 4 spilling all that crap, but its u, OMG! hope 2 b blogging bff’s, night. OMG lol

  25. yes, I did see that show. I have nine of her show seasons. I used to love the ones too with her and “Jackie”. they always had a background meaning yet much humor too.I love Rosemanne. She has helped me get through many a day when I felt down just watching her show and I stil do. Shes a person many people seem to mistaken, they dont get her….and too bad for them for shes a real person and I would just about die to meet her. keep watching her…..I do. She helps make this screwed up world better.

  26. If one is not a professional singer, it takes PURE COURAGE to sing for the whole world to listen and inevitably comment.

  27. its a book not a song—and i can sing.

  28. Hi Roseanne and company!,
    I’m really tight on budget now and I am sure that I am not alone. For anyone in the same predicament as I am right now, my nifty suggestion to you all is to try go to any major local library of yours (yes, remember the place where we get our information before the internet age? :) DUH!) and see if they have a copy available for lending, like what I’m doing. Unfortunately, the country that I live in is extremely PRO-bullshit so your book is still in all the major library’s waiting list.
    I know that the book is worth it so along the line even after I have borrowed from the library and read it, I will buy it so that I can pass it to my future generation.
    I strongly believe that the future generation should know that such a celebrity cum normal person(?) like Roseanne does/did exist on the planet of this earth.
    Warmest regards,

  29. dashus christ says:

    do you remember seeing Roseanne’s sitcom where she sings w/ Loretta Lynn-R is a very good singer and dancer as well! Dizzy has quite a sense of humor too you will notice.

  30. Roaseanne, it is sad to me to see people come on here and be mean as this “dizzyloo” above me, she sure neamed herself right. anyhoo….i want you to know you are one of the funniest people on tv i have ever watched and i have all nine of your dvds from your show, so does my daughter. youw Roseanne show help me get through very hard times, raising three kids alone after my divorce. The cast were all great and i especially looked forward to the shows which centered around you. i pull them off the tv shelf often and watch them still and please note, i laugh just like its the first time. i love ya Rosey! and I wish you only the best in life always! you and i could be best of friends i know. we are alot alike in many ways. I cant sing either! lol
    PS/ care about yourself….not what others think or say. If they come on here to insult, they must like you some or they wouldnt even do that…..and i do plan on buying your book when i can….i did see you on tv talking about it on Oprah. loved seeing you! as always!

  31. “That’s because you can’t sing Roseanne!!!”

  32. I bought your book and I’m still reading it slowly every night before bed. It’s very positive and encouraging as well as hilarious. That’s something more people need to read about. They could actual learn something from it. I wish you more success with your book!

  33. I ordered one from Lawrie @ Hairy Monkey Books by phone before your visit, and am anxiously awaiting it’s arrival. Two weeks ’till we’re in Papaaloa again!

  34. I am impatiently awaiting the arrival of my kindle so i can buy your book, i can’t find it anywhere, we ain’t got no book stores in rural ohio, unless you count the local wal-mart, but your stuff is probably too real for them to have in their store, they did have several copies of bush’s Decision points, i’ll buy that if they quit making shit paper, but you got a sale from me(in a week or so, this blue collar bitch’s gotta wait till payday!!!!! Love you!!!! Muah!

  35. So far I see you had much positive inforcment permotion could be prais gives gifts confidence.what ruins dreams is no self asteem when parents like I was born by young troubled people and must say never had confidence could have danced like fred and did do but would never beleave when people said it cause of the verbal abuse so was afraid to challange my gifts..

  36. As you should know exposer is what sells ,marketing and I think with the publicity that is starting with reality show and of course the more talk shows one does and word of mouth. Sell the book Rosie what is secretive in their per mote that.Intice tease the public I’m going to buy it cause I find u interesting and what entregs me is who really is the real person and your rags to riches venture.

  37. I loved the excerpt. Thank you.

  38. I love this book, Roseanne. I relate to you through your childhood. I was a fat little girl in the 1950’s, and I remember how hard that was. When you mentioned shopping in the chubby section, my heart did a flip flop. It’s like I was back there again. I haven’t finished the book yet, but am working on it. I want to savor it, don’t want to rush through it.
    I wish there had been more publicity for the book. I only found out about it because I check in on your blog. Then I found out about the TV appearances, and caught as many of those as I could. Wish you had a book signing close to me so I could have gone to that. I think if more people knew about the book, the sales would have been much higher. Maybe when the reality show starts….

  39. I thought Oprah would have given you a big sales bump! I saw it jumped up really high on the after the Oprah show.
    I bought your book the day it came out! I hope more people buy it. Will you be doing any more promos for it?
    Oh and…when will we know more about the reality show? I wanna see a trailer! haha

  40. Fascinating!

  41. Merry Sunshine says:

    I haven’t enjoyed a book so much in the longest time. I’m recommending to all I know. I’ve been a huge fan forever – and appreciate the insight and the belly laughs. Thanks, Roseanne.

  42. I bought the e-book and I love it! I am so relating to the descriptions of your Jewish grandmothers. Been there. (although I’ve never been to Utah… yikes.)
    I will recommend the book on my Facebook page and maybe I can generate a sale or two amongst my knucklehead friends.