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Oct
19

after a couple years of meditation, i was able

to make the connection between my actions and my feelings…for instance, I was able to be aware of the fact that whenever I felt that my feelings were hurt, that was because I had been insensitive to someone else.  Whenever I felt attacked, it was because I had blamed or yelled at someone shortly before.  Whenever I was judging someone else, it was because I had previously done something wrong.  Whenever I felt the need to point out someone for making a mistake, it was because I was hiding something I myself had done which was wrong.  Also, whenever I felt it necessary to correct something I thought someone else was incorrectly doing, I realized that it was because I was wrong.  Whenever I thought someone was not listening to me, it was because I was not listening to them.  everything is a mirror to the ego.

 This level of self awareness saved my life, because I was able to stop putting myself in harm’s way, and stop doing unsafe things, as well as needing other people’s approval far less.  I was the kind of person who needed to lure people in and then attack them.  (classic bi-polar, borderline behavior).  When I finally saw that everything begins and ends with me,  I felt for the first time some real control over my emotions. 

Comments

  1. Gary W (Redskins77) says:

    By the way I’m behind you 100%. It is ridiculous.

  2. Gary W (Redskins77) says:

    By the way I’m behind you 100%. It is ridiculous.

  3. Gary W (Redskins77) says:

    If your trying to stay under big media you sure are in the media lime light today. You was even mentioned on Howard stern today with his discussion with Thea Vidale.

  4. Gary W (Redskins77) says:

    If your trying to stay under big media you sure are in the media lime light today. You was even mentioned on Howard stern today with his discussion with Thea Vidale.

  5. my intention was this…
    i thought it would make an interesting conversation and was too lazy to find right place for it. i apologize.

  6. reflections in the mirror

  7. This was nice :)

  8. CAuse your actions speak louder than promises!!
    sure there r many levels to the lies we tell ourselves and the actions we take w out even knowing what we r doing. Or like u say makng the connection.
    with the free’d slaves from eygypt.
    Isnt having your freedom reward enuf??
    human beings not human doings but i get what u say
    damn we free…. NOW What??

  9. I am not really interested in what most men say anymore—his sight is the same old shite that excludes women’s innate wisdom, so for me that is just co intel –back to the subject though–seeing how your actions come back to you as emotions. Your concience knows when you have gone against it, and it manufactures reactions on the emotional level. Everything in your mind/brain/soul/body/ awareness is connected–I do notice that whenever I write about repentance, someone comes and tries to direct the conversation to another site or another subject. It seems to be part of mind controlled reactions–it always happens, and I think that’s because the subject of repentance and of awareness is so very threatening to the mind controlled person.
    In the story of the slaves escaping egypt (the bible) the majority of them decided that they loved slavery more than freedom and demanded that moses take them back. Being free means you have to do something. Being a slave means you don’t.

  10. Gary W (Redskins77) says:

    I’m all about learning meditation and freeing the mind. But web bots predicting major events??? There is no way i’m going for that.

  11. Gary W (Redskins77) says:

    I’m all about learning meditation and freeing the mind. But web bots predicting major events??? There is no way i’m going for that.

  12. i don’t know him. he’s all about freeing the mind and traveling through the matrix of collective human thought. his web bot has predicted a major event that begins the end of this month and runs through nov 11th. soo….all you roseanarchists watch your asses. a little extra food, water and gas. don’t zig when you should have zagged and hope clif and the collective are wrong.

  13. anyway back to the subject–transcending mind control

  14. do you know him? i am really trying to stay under the radar of big media–people are always trying to help me get more coverage, but I don’t want to go that route–been there done that–too many trolls and freaks in high profile shit—but more listeners would be cool if they are into mind control liberation—

  15. off topic
    roseanne i want you to have a conversation with clif high from web bot project. http://www.halfpasthuman.com/
    he has a huge following and would bring many new people to your kcaa program.

  16. Ladyjane Green says:

    This really hits home! am working on the meditation skills and feeling som kind of results. at least small sense of pride that iam trying this PTSD healing process. your blog has pointed me in this direction, thanks for bein so open about this stuff. Always was told to meditate,seemed impossible to grasp till shown here.Had never done coventional breath meditation til now…. its a rush. thinking about emptying out negative poisons on spiritual/ cell level. Can really relate to making the actions feelings connection.

  17. dashus christ says:

    i love how you explain this–it is amazing what Meditation can do for the mind-also amazing with all you have done w/ it ,and what you are doing w/ it!