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May
22

My campaign for President of the US/Prime Minister of Israel speech:

Greetings Earthlings! Greetings my fellow and sister Taxpayers of America, as well as any members of the Animal Kingdom who might be listening to me now. I speak for you today. I speak Truth to power today in honor of the mothers and grandmothers of this country (and all countries) who are the backbone of this and all countries, and without whose sacrifice, there would be no soldiers to fight in rich men’s war for turf in order to sell weapons, drugs, pornography, and the fried corpses of headless chickens that Colonel Sanders and other Colonels, Generals and contractors within the military industrial complex, genetically modified for mass consumption, and which will soon lead to the ultimate death of the Entire Cosmic Web of Life, including Human Doom.
I’m here today to announce that after a lifetime in TV and show business, and even tougher, raising five children and five grandsons, I have, thanks to much prayer and meditation decided to pursue a less stressful future. I, Roseanne Barr am simply going to fix everything…
Sadly the current leaders of the world–99% of them male, are selfish idiots, moral cowards, greedy incompetents and sexual degenerates who cannot keep their penises in their pants at all, ever, for any reason. In order to save future generations of males, as well as females and animal and plant life forms, I today (mother’s day) declare Patriarchal Politics obsolete, and I call forth Divine Matriarchy, the only thing that can save this sad planet at this late and dying date.
Patriarchy is impotent, and qualitatively unable to solve even the simplest problems in the Cosmos, such as picking up its own socks, or placing a carton of milk back in the refrigerator after drinking directly out of it.
To begin curing this world, I am officially running for President of these United States of America, as well as Prime Minister of Israel (a two-fer) on the brand new “Green Tea Party” ticket.
As all political candidates in America must do, I will refer constantly to my particular religion, which happens to be The Church of Common Sense. Its laws and gospels are nothing more than practical, simple solutions to the problems that currently plague humanity, and i will incorporate all these religious values into my campaign platform.
My Platform is Three fold, and will result in world peace within one year:
STEP ONE: MAKE WAR ILLEGAL, AND LEGALIZE HEMP
allow women to grow it and to make food clothing shelter and fuel from it for pennies. And legalize marijuana too, and let women integrate their divided consciousness with a natural herb instead of doctor’s pills which destroy the liver. End the War on drugs. this will take the potheads and non-violent drug users out of prisons, where you can get drugs anyway, thereby making room for the violent offenders and the real criminals–the actual threats to world peace.
STEP TWO: CHANGE THE DEMOGRAPHICS OF GOVERNMENT:
Since women make up 53% of the population, as well as the work force, a MINIMUM of Green Tea Party leadership will be female, and given that one in six Americans lives in poverty, at least one sixth of the party’s officials will officially be poor (since generations of rich guys running things has only gotten us here). As Congress people and senators, they will be able to become rich enough to eradicate their own poverty for generations, as well as that of those they represent simply by having access to public policy that decides where public money goes. They will simply direct public money TO THE PUBLIC, a novel idea and something which is not being done at all, ever. A small grant of 1500 dollars can enable a poor woman to start a business that can create wealth and jobs for as many as ten other people within two years.
Poor women know how to get things done well, and on the cheap. They know how to stretch that dollar.
In American, for speaking truth, women are called Bitches. I seek for next Mother’s Day, a march of One Million American Bitches who can get the job done–the job of getting the food to the hungry kids in this country and thereby creating real wealth, as well as saving our rich American friends and neighbors from going straight to hell and burning there for all of eternity. This is just one of my righteous spiritual goals and solutions to the real problems in America!
STEP THREE: (MOST IMPORTANT) I WILL OUTLAW BULLSHIT:
After the passage of this one law, the Patriarchy will inevitably begin to crumble, as will the concept of War itself, which is largely a large load of bullshit.
————-
My first act as President and Prime Minister will be to re-configure all Maritime Law. Nothing will move anywhere for a while, as Nemesis is achieved. I will become the Pirate Queen, making Corporate Piracy on the High Seas a High Crime.
No real changes need to be made to the system that exists now and the Prison and Military Complexes will not collapse under Green Tea Party rule, at all.
We will still be able to be the world’s police force and imprison significant numbers of humans for profit. The only real difference is, we will imprison the guilty, the most dangerous people on earth using our strong and vast military to find and arrest them. They won’t be too hard to find, as they are already sitting atop every giant Ponzi scheme of a Big Multinational Corporation, and tax free religion in the world.
The Priest Class, allowed to exist only in service to Military Might (as it always has done) will simply be instructed by my minions to begin making peace, teaching scientific fact and to stop dividing people against each other, and to re-configure a message of co-operation, under penalty of International Law.
The Ruling Classes are less than one percent of the world’s population, yet through their control of trade routes upon the Open Seas, the ungodly pirates that they are, control 99% of the world’s resources, and move them through the world by water. They kill dispassionately and by stealing the wealth of entire communities and classes. After being arrested and tried by a Judicial system NOT heavily weighted in their favor (as now), they shall face a fate more horrifying than death (to them). These greedy moral derelicts will be forced to actually pay back the money they stole, every single plundered dime!!
Without Bullshit, the Twin Towers of Patriarchy, Warmongering-Piracy and Woman Hating-Pedophilia will collapse under their own weight.
WITH THE NECESSARY RE-EDUCATION CAMPS, we’ll reinforce the shocking idea that the guilty must pay for their crimes, even if they are wealthy or hiding behind God. It’s imperative that children see their guilty leaders punished, otherwise they grow up to think it OK to rob and hurt and offend, and that you can get away with it simply because you are rich or a priest.
Somewhere, within the concept of Justice, the worst of the guilty must always be removed. I cannot divorce this thought completely. The People must have Justice, and so, I want to instate and enshrine the Blessed and Holy Guillotine, a fast and painless execution of Justice, and of execution. There’s simply no kinder way of death than a swift and painless beheading!
–Again, it’s a humane, quick, pain free death. Most people would choose a swift and painless death if they were allowed to vote on it!
There will be those who oppose an ultimate act of Justice against the worst people on earth, and they shall be re-classified as being some of the worst people on earth themselves, and sent to re-education camps. Without the collusion of the “pacifist” the worst things could not continue.
Speculators and bankers, those who poison the earth and create wars for profit, will be required to personally clean the sewers and the land of the toxins they have produced. If they choose not to do the work themselves-as they are usually too sensitive for such unpleasantries-then they’ll foot the bill and be required to pay ten times the minimum wage per worker hour. If they cut corners, or make things in any way unsafe for any worker, they will be arrested and tried and punished by The People’s new System of Justice.
Though it may surprise you, the capitalist system will remain in place until somebody comes up with a system of barter that serves the needs of most, and not of the few at the expense of the many. I want a new capitalism, one not fueled by wars, one that doesn’t pass all its wealth to a handful of white guys and call that free trade. One wherein the elderly actually get paid their retirement monies. We’ll have capitalism, but we’ll also have social welfare programs and education and basic compassion and health care. I’m talking about a system that rewards hard work and ambition but cares for its weakest child. Being called a Femi-nazi for saying these things will be considered treasonous.
We will simply combine capitalism and socialism, and create People-ism–where both ideas work together for a functional system. No one shall cling blindly to a single unyielding ideology just because of bloated obese talk radio hosts who tell the starving to tighten their belts, or that damned Ayn Rand book. People and societies do not work like machines. You actually have to have compromise, adjust, and make reasonable choices. COMMON SENSE!
THE MID-EAST CRISIS…YES IT CAN BE SOLVED WITH COMMON SENSE TOO!
As Prime Minister of Israel, I’ll introduce a bill to the Knesset that will simply do away with Patriarchy there, as well. All religious books that advocate the burning of witches or the execution of gays will become passe and will simply be disregarded as obsolete.
My next bill of legislation will cause Peace, by simply paying the Palestinian people not to shoot at the Israelis! For far less than the cost of Israel’s unusable 250 nuclear warheads, we can build schools and hospitals and give every Palestinian a great job. We can put the Pal back into Palestinian!
Just ten of the world’s Jewish Billionaires have more than enough to transform the occupied territories. American Jews who support the settlements in Palestinian territories will be required to go and live in them, freeing up their homes in Beverly Hills for Palestinians who may choose to leave their homelands.
Any Israeli settlements to be built in the Capital of Palestine, East Jerusalem, must be built for Palestinians to live in! This way, the Israeli companies who work with Haliburton and have received no-bid contracts from American Tax Payers, can still keep building!! The Palestinian People will also have decent housing to live in, as they are the majority of Israel’s labor force! In other words, the entire problem in the Middle East will be addressed in my administration as a Labor Issue, and NOT a religious issue.
No more wars will be necessary.
Arabe billionaires, Christian billionaires, Russian and and Chinese Billionaires will be required to kick in to solve the problem too, since peace in the middle east is also in their best interests. Any Hamas or Zionist type who tries to interfere and grab the money (Arafat died with 30 billion dollars of his people’s money in a french bank account) will be marched to the Blessed Lady and subsequently beheaded. Isn’t that easier/better than some endless bloody conflict?
As POTUS and PMOI, I will shut down those who make the Jewish People their Moral Hostages…namely the Rothschild banking family, who coincidentally are the reason people hate the Jews!!
The time for all grudges and blood libels will be done. I don’t like Jewish attitudes towards Christians and Muslims, nor do I like what Christians think of Jews and Muslims, nor what Muslims think about Jews or Christians! I simply care nothing for any of these religions, as all three are fundamentally flawed–unlike the Church of Common Sense–All Abrahamic religions refer to God as ‘He’ instead of ‘She’ and all three would burn me at the stake for using the word GODDESS.
In the new world, every position of power evacuated by an arrested and beheaded pedophile or bankster will be filled with a grandmother who has pledged to create heaven on earth for all children and animals and all humans with the stolen money we have commanded our troops to recover.
Each Grandmother is responsible for at least one hundred people around her, as is normal now anyway, and she will answer to the Grandmother at the head of her district. Each District Head answers to the Tribunal Council of Matriarchs. The titular heads of the Worldwide Association of Matriarchal Tribunals will answer to the Head of the World Family, which is of course, Me.
In this New Age, war is no longer a business. War profiteering is punishable by the Guillotine. To keep these deaths to a minimum, all Presidents, Prime Ministers and Queens (there will be NO kings) will be required to fight in the very first infantry wave of any war they authorize. Trust me, that’ll make for some productive peace talks!!
Why have I been chosen to deliver this message of Female intelligence and its Divinity to a world of deaf males? I have asked my Internal/Eternal Goddess that question, and She answered, “Why not YOU, Roseanne?” Indeed, why not each of us?
Women, let’s stop propping up bullshit and reflecting it back at twice its size!! Let’s drop out big time and stop buying things! Let’s plant gardens. Let’s not buy in, let’s get real.
Let’s take back the real estate between our ears and get green like a son of a bitch!
Let’s start our own schools and teach our kids to heal the world and not destroy it. Let’s help each other first for once, before we help men or their gods! Let’s be selfish for our own sake and theirs, just this once. I know the thought of that seems blasphemous and horrific, but we have to do it!
The truth of the Light of reality will illuminate all that we see and all that we do.
Ladies,and thinking Gentlemen, I implore you: Join me in the Church of Common Sense, in the Green Tea Party movement. With your support, I promise to usher in the new age:
THE ROSE-ANARCHY!!
(a prophecy written 2010 just before the deluge).

Comments

  1. My apologies for miss-spelling your name several times ( a little over whelmed by every thing I wanted to say )! Congratulations on your second place move in the poll! That says a lot! Keep up the good work and just know that what you are doing is ground breaking and keep us all posted on what we can do to help! No thanks needed. It is I who thank you for, and at long last, giving us a voice! I haven’t felt this good about the potential for change in a very long time! You give new meaning to the term “You go girl!”

  2. yes u r so right-we don’t give up we do what has to be done with courage-that is what women do every day and in every place on earth-we have no choice-and so I decided to try to say that in public and in a campaign. thanks so much for your support

  3. Wow! I’ve read a lot today! I’m glad your running Roseann, for a lot of reasons but most importantly because your brutally honest, your no nonsense and in your face attitude are just what we need to get out of this mess. People become afraid when some one comes along and is not afraid to say what needs to be said. I’ve read the good, the bad and the ugly up there and to read the comments has been enlightening and sad as well. Kudos to you for using your wealth and fame to bring truth into the light! That is one of the biggest reasons I have shifted my support from Jill Stein to you! I am putting your name and my support of your intentions all over my face book and talking about this to any one who will listen! People complain but when the opportunity to step up and make a change is mentioned they want to fall back into what is “known and comfortable,” even if it is wrong! I even had some one tell me today that “we are not a three party system and that every vote for a third party damages the two party votes that count!” Well why aren’t we a three party system? Why can’t we become a three party system if IT WORKS? You’ve gotten my vote Roseann and I will do what ever I can to support you! I’m a woman, a mother and a grandmother and trust me, I’ve survived it all because that is what we women do best! To those who say women are to emotional, you’ve never sat with a baby all night who was running a 105 temp or watched your son get stitches in a knee that was split wide open. Or comforted a daughter whose life fell apart due to drug use and still had the courage and the strength to turn said daughter in to social services for child neglect……..women make tough decisions every day and they get the job done because it’s what we do. We make a meal when there is nothing in the cupboards because our “husband,” spent our money on drugs again. We don’t give up. We pinch pennies when we need to and we know if we have a way out of poverty we won’t squander our resources but share it and stretch it to make it last. Women are self-less and compassionate and we have empathy and a back bone! I could go on and on but I’ll end for now! But I will be back Rosanne because I believe in what you stand for and I admire your direct approach!

  4. Boilinghotfrog says:

    dear Roseanne, I live in Australia, but would totally pack a bag and my dogs if you became president of the USA or Isreal. I look at what men have done to this world, how each calls the other a fascist or an extremist or a terrorist, while innocent civilians pay with their lives (usually women, children, and animals). I don’t think it’s romantic or idealistic to want to create change. Hope you come to Melbourne sometime because you could be a wonderful influence on our Prime Minister (Julia Gillard) and a terrific role model.
    Xx M

  5. I like this quote from President Lincoln you like….
    President Lincoln (1st inaugural address) :
    “This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing Government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it.”
    *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***
    IMO……The corruption level warrants dismembering it.
    I wonder how many here agree with that.
    The people are growing weary of the tax system for one.

  6. I do agree with some of the things you have said. We do need more aspects of the government geared towards women, we are definately the dominate sex. Also putting the actual guilty parties in jail, and punishing the true evil no matter their pay scale. I don’t know if your serious or not, I’m just starting to weed through the candidates, but your plan does need some tweeking, and serious thoughts to the good of everyone in America concerned, like the tax system, and the failing economy. I have loved your bold femenist views since I was a child, and wish you had a real plan laid out that people could get on board with, that would be awsome. Good luck in all your endeavors, and can’t wait to watch the new season of your show.

  7. Roseanne – I just spoke with James Ogle at US Parliament. My candidacy is to ask, and answer just one question: Should voters have the opportunity to VOTE on a revolution? There’s 2 parts to a “typical” revolution: 1) the messy part – fighting, bloodshed, killing. 2) assuming the revolutionaries win, then it’s forming a new system of government and writing or re-writing a Constitution.
    I propose skipping the messy part and going directly to part 2) and seek your help, which we can chat about privately at your convenience. I will make a bold statement: YOU are in a position to change our country, to change our world. I’ll explain more when we chat…
    http://www.JeffBlock2012.com/

  8. Ms. Barr. Stratus Blue is a musical act on O’ahu interesting in supporting your bid for President. We have supported Mr. Ralph Nader in the past creating YOUTUBE videos in that regard. Thank you for providing me (Art of Stratus Blue) with a candidate I can support for 2012.
    Feel free to call on the band if we can be of service.
    Art

  9. jon brees thogmartin says:

    you go girl-behind you 100%. love your ideas.from the guillotine to the max pay, to the organic revolution,to the end of war,and an end to phony drug & terror wars. it all starts with food.

  10. Rosanne….sister in Isis! I should have met you here in f—ing Utah. We’re close in age, closer in spirit. I was born in 1951. I dig your message and have been working with the Goddess energy to wake people up forever, but here in Utah I finally said to hell with it, I’m going into seclusion. Religion is the scourge of humanity. I am so weary to my soul of the world game and the ignorance. I do energy work daily in peace, and create beauty in my life. That is my contribution. I used to do more, but my body served notice that I’ve got to cool my jets. Hard to fly when your wings hurt! Ha. I’ve been to Hawaii five times to teach seminars…what a beautiful place. The energy of the Goddess just undulates up and embraces you. Belly Dancer, Yoga and meditation teacher, cosmic gypsy, writer mad woman, wine lover, and comedian. These are my muses. I bring all of this in support of you and say, you GO sister! I love that you speak your truth. You empower women and awaken sleeping males with your courage. You have my vote. You would be a hoot to hang out with. Stay with it. When I drum for Gaia, I will also drum in celebration of her voice in you.
    Love in oneness, humor, knowing and not knowing a damn thing. At the end of the day, we will realize laughter is not only the best medicine, but the highest chant.
    Namaste,
    Aurora

  11. :) most of these points actually make some sense…i think if you are honestly running then it would be good to have person who speaks straight to the point and speak for working class Americans.
    JOBs! We need more Jobs! Lol:) seriously!!

  12. Did a couple hoots and hollars, threw out an amen! And you my lady have my vote!!!! Go girl!!!

  13. Rosy you are absolutely right! I fully agree with you all your thoughts, I write to you from far away, from Italy, Sicily i’m just one of your biggest fan. I read everything you wrote on your website (or almost) and I read on wikepedia that belongs to your privacy, so I understand how you feel when others provoke you and make you angry. Now what are your next projects? than to become president? kisses

  14. I’m glad that you’re a celebrity and that you use it to speak out. I wish more would do likewise. You may be rich compared to the average person but you don’t own the media, you can’t pay off all members of Congress and the Senate, you don’t have the pentagon’s budget, you don’t conspire with other super wealthy people to control the world. Chris Rock used to say: If you think a basketball player is rich, how about the guy that owns the team. People who won’t get angry are afraid of their own human experience and are trying desperately to avoid life. Even Jesus got angry and spoke out which they killed him for, as well as Ghandi. And a person cannot metaphysically destroy hunger. Well, you can, but the person will still be hungry and need something to eat. You have to physically be in the world to feed them. We have bodies for a reason and we are meant to experience all that comes with it. Sitting and pontificating and putting others down while sitting cross-legged on the floor is just a way of escaping real human life and experience. There is no growth or change without anger, and the other emotions for that matter. And being in harmony with Nazis does not improve the human experience nor will it change or help the Nazi become whole. Disharmony exists too, and for good reason. It seems some people want to continue to try to paint the house and dust the furniture while ignoring the fact that the Nazis have set the place on fire right in front of their faces. They smile and ask for the vacuum as if nothing will badly effect them. Keep up the good work Roseanne. Heck you could even go on the Alex Jones Show with the way you’re talkin. ;-)

  15. I’m glad that you’re a celebrity and that you use it to speak out. I wish more would do likewise. You may be rich compared to the average person but you don’t own the media, you can’t pay off all members of Congress and the Senate, you don’t have the pentagon’s budget, you don’t conspire with other super wealthy people to control the world. Chris Rock used to say: If you think a basketball player is rich, how about the guy that owns the team. People who won’t get angry are afraid of their own human experience and are trying desperately to avoid life. Even Jesus got angry and spoke out which they killed him for, as well as Ghandi. And a person cannot metaphysically destroy hunger. Well, you can, but the person will still be hungry and need something to eat. You have to physically be in the world to feed them. We have bodies for a reason and we are meant to experience all that comes with it. Sitting and pontificating and putting others down while sitting cross-legged on the floor is just a way of escaping real human life and experience. There is no growth or change without anger, and the other emotions for that matter. And being in harmony with Nazis does not improve the human experience nor will it change or help the Nazi become whole. Disharmony exists too, and for good reason. It seems some people want to continue to try to paint the house and dust the furniture while ignoring the fact that the Nazis have set the place on fire right in front of their faces. They smile and ask for the vacuum as if nothing will badly effect them. Keep up the good work Roseanne. Heck you could even go on the Alex Jones Show with the way you’re talkin. ;-)

  16. “people who CLAIM to be above human emotion, such as anger are dishonest, and disconnected from reality, humanity, justice, empathy, sympathy and every single other emotion that is a reaction of the conscience against evil.”
    I completely agree with you Roseanne. They are AFRAID to feel angry or even SAD because then they might actually have to DO something and that’s what they are avoiding. They are afraid of being involved and of being a living human physical being. They are so absorbed with that fear that they want to frighten others into not experiencing their own humanity on this earth trip. We are in the physical so therefore must experience all that is physical, and act in the physical plane. One cannot solve every problem in a metaphysical way. One cannot metaphysically feed the hungry–well you can–but they’d still need something to eat afterwards. As far as you being rich: First of all, I’m thankful that YOU are a celebrity because you care about others and use your celebrity to tell the truth and defend your fellow earthmates. I wish many others in your line of work would do the same. Second, the isiots who think you’re really rich should look at the super rich. You may be a wealthy worker bee but we’re all still just worker bees. Some are higher paid than others. The kings jesters and court musicians of course had a better life than the peasants, but that doesn’t mean that they could influence all the worlds kings to change how things are run. HEY FOLKS: Roseanne may have a lot more than most of you do but she is not the Federal Reserve; she doesn’t have the pentagon’s budget, she doesn’t own all media, and she can’t buy off every member of Congress and the Senate, nor is Roseanne listening to all your phone calls and watching Wal-Mart videos to catch you doing something or saying something subversive. If you’re gonna get angry, don’t get angry at celebrity’s who point out what’s wrong, get angry with what’s wrong and whoever makes it that way. Octobersan: if there is no anger there is no change or growth. Even Jesus got angry and spoke truth to power and they killed him for it. You’re using Ghandi-ness to sit in a cave and not do anything about anything. Even Ghandi took risks and eventually paid the price for it.

  17. Roseanne! So true. You cannot negotiate with Nazis. Too many people think that they can just be wished away or meditated away. My father, who was in WW2 used to say: “We beat the Germans, not the NAzis. The Nazis came over here now and one day will run things.” The Nazis are just a more recent form of what has existed for a long time which is powerful bad individuals who think most of the rest of the world are garbage and have no right to breathe unless they are complete slaves. Unfortunately in our 3D physical world, it is not possible to metaphysically think or meditate these Nazi types away. They need the guillotine.

  18. It is completely obvious to me that men do a terrible job in ruling our world. In five thousand years of history men have rule our world and have settled differences between countries through violence and warfare, and have failed completely to overcome basic problems like poverty.
    Men have been so stupid that during the cold war between the USSR and USA and her allies man came very close a number of times to committing global suicide through nuclear warfare. So why are we allowing these clowns to continue to rule our world? We urgently need women rule rule our world instead, to see if they can do a better job.

  19. Years ago, when I hopped in the Pinto, and went west to be alone in the wilderness of the California desert, I stopped to pick up a Navajo student who was on his way to Albuquerque NM. Along the 3 day journey to his destination, we spoke of many things, and a part of the conversation, I apologized to him for my ancestors’ part in the horrid destruction of his ancestors and ancestral lands. He forgave me, and my ancestors… In a similar manner, I’d like to apologize for the males of our species, in spite of the fact that we’re not all like the ones who have given us a bad name. Some of us are thinking individuals, capable of seeing the wrongs which are perpetrated upon the weak and poor by the few who have “ascended” to positions of power.
    You’ve certainly earned my vote; after watching the interview on DemocracyNow during this last week, I was hoping someone like you would run for President. Today, those hopes were fulfilled as I watched your announcement! Wish I could have seen it “live”, but since I will not have a TV ever again, I was content to watch it online. Thank you, and let us know where to get bumper stickers, posters, etc. to help get the word out here in rural Georgia regarding your run for Presidency!

  20. Shabbat Shalom:
    I am a Psychologist (pretty normal and avoid BS despite that) and did internship in Canada. I live in Scottsdale , AZ am interested in working on your campaign.
    What are your views stand on health care?
    Let me know and how I can volunter. Mark

  21. Thank you for stepping up with the right message to give me some hope.

  22. Thank you for stepping up ith the right message to give me some hope

  23. Yes ma’am. :)

  24. I joined this blog by a referal from a freind of a freind of a freind.
    I heard you were talking about running for president. I initially thought wow! How cool is that, somebody who has a voice who is real and very capable of actually doing something for the betterment and wellbeing of humankind.
    Then I learned that you were kidding.
    So I am sad now. I really thought there was a hope out there.
    I am guessing there is other ways to skin a cat eh?
    love from Australia

  25. okay up to speed….
    i think making congress reflect real people (including a female majority) makes real sense…america needs to start voting for itself and not who they wish they were…we would be better off…
    “and all three would burn me at the stake for using the word GODDESS” or priestess?? so a female episcopal priest is a…female priest, reverend, a dear friend…but not a priestess?!!!
    the grandmother thing…i have actually suggested in inner city schools that we get volunteer grandma’s…white chicks (most of the teachers) ‘feel sorry for the kids’, “they’ve had such a tough life”…the grandma’s would teach the kids manners, please and thank you will get you damn far in this life and make them shut up, sit down and learn so the rest of their life is better. don’t feel sorry, help. no excuses.
    one more bitch on your side…

  26. commenting before reading…so sry…but the idea that this world is woman starved is so right.
    when did they men take over and who let them? i have never in my life felt inferior to a man…but i have been treated that way!
    there is a serious imbalance to the world…men the seekers/strivers/hunters don’t look out for the children, the old, the infirmed, the future…women do. both views are important it is not one or the other but a combination of both…

  27. Rosie, I just read your presidential speech and first of all, LMAO! I COULDN’T HELP IT….IT IS SERIOUS BUT YOU ARE HILARIOUS. Yes, run. Yes, I would support you in any way I can. Maybe we need to start a new society of our own…Hawaii might be a good place to start….And lets do the Million American Bitches march on Mothers Day, 2012!!! I’m in.
    Linda G

  28. Rosie, I just read your presidential speech and first of all, LMAO! I COULDN’T HELP IT….IT IS SERIOUS BUT YOU ARE HILARIOUS. Yes, run. Yes, I would support you in any way I can. Maybe we need to start a new society of our own…Hawaii might be a good place to start….And lets do the Million American Bitches march on Mothers Day, 2012!!! I’m in.
    Linda G

  29. ratherbeonmountain says:

    Roseanne, I just wanted to say that I started watching your show (Roseanne)when it first aired and still watch it everyday and love it. Although, I may not agree with everything you say, I believe you say it from the heart. Wish you and your family all the best!!

  30. to add to my previos comment, concerning women. I am a single mom of 4. My first child’s father is in jail seving 6 months for not paying child support. Counter productive if u ask me. The other father of my other 3 children is a brick layer who cannot get work because rich white property owners and contractors in my east Texas area hire illegal aliens from mexico because they get paid cash as does most construction workers. Oh, they’ll have 2 or 3 employees on pay roll but the rest change with the weather. When I wait in line(poor sidr of town) to get a stamp or to take my 214$ Temporary assistance to needy families(what welfare has been reduced to bc of the first BUSH and so forth) there are at least 3 hispanic mails western unioning money to mexico, kentucky, and other places they grow large crops. Otherwise I would be married to this hardworking man who cannot make a living to support his kids who I know he cherishes. People who are comfortable do NOT want to be bothered with the poor. We are under-represented. And half of the people I know on welfare have grandparents who take care oftheir kids, illegally get disibility, or live with a man that works.Humanity is not at work in smaller towns as it is in bigger towns because of the problem size.
    I think every war should be open to public vote, and not the current presidrnts, or anyone elses decision. Things change and people do too!!!

  31. You are an inspiration to me! I am a single mom with four young children. My income is $214 a month in TANF(welfare)-that’s all I get as a maximimum allowed in Texas. I also get 793$ a month in foodstamps that keeps us fed as long as I can get a ride to Wal-mart and not the local store in walking distance, in tow with two in a stroller and the other two in tow. I was in CPS as a teen. Then tried to go to complete my teaching degree until student financial aid (government grant $ for the poor) said it doesn’t matter that in the last ten years you’ve had four kids, been hit 4 times in not at fault car accidents, which last December left me carless, and told me I had to pay my own tuition to get financial aid back. Before the first wreck I had a 4.0 with one child, worked two jobs, rode the bus just months before, and took over full time classes. I had daycare at a very low rate, which I lost because the drug dealer who hit me did not have his car insured.(It was a bright purple, pimped out, ghetto car with tons of cash put into it). Now I am stuck, with no help, no family, and nothing but the little I get from my government who I paid taxes too and I vote as much as I can, given I have not had a babysitter since 2005 when I just had two kids. I even joined a local church to give my kids the education of choice and to ensure I had a support group or alternate family. After the wreck they did meet me at my local store and buy me toilet paper and hair bows for my 3 girls. I have not attended, can’t, so I have not heard a thing from them again. So, I agree with your thoughts and hope things change. I worry where will I get the money to pay my bills every month. Oh, I am on housing also. I have to pay 89$ a month in rent. Remember, my income is 214$. The local housing authority has me as still working because I cannot get a sitter to go there in person.Policies and all. I only have two internships left and a six week student teaching to do and all my problems will go away. Living on something is better than living on nothing. My oldest child is talented and gifted and my five year old has ADD and ADHD which in my opinion is just the doctors easy way out and many parents too. But alas, medicaid confines me to very narrow choices and quality care. I live with abscessed teeth because there is no dental help for the poor. I have to live in a dangerous neighborhood where my children can’t even go out to play. And because I am poor, as my cloths wear out, my makeup went bad, and my hair is falling out from the stress, I still try to vote for the least worst canidate for president and it hasn’t made a positve difference in my life at all. there really are people in this country who do not have any options at all, short of commiting crimes, so I just wait. My kids grow, and i do what I can to make sure they have school uniforms, shoes that fit, and presents on birthdays. keep speaking out, someone has to.

  32. Roseanne,
    Fuck Tough Love! Fuck the War on Drugs! Fuck Money Hungry Egomaniacal Bankers! Fuck Oil! Fuck Nukes! Fuck Racism! Fuck Child Molesting Priests! Fuck Monsanto! Fuck The Happy Meal! Fuck Advertisements Aimed at Children! Fuck Prescription Pills! Fuck Extremism! Fuck Internationalist! Fuck the Fuckers Who Murdered American Lives and Wasted Billions upon Billions of American Tax Dollars on Wars Under God! Fuck Lazy People Who Feel Entitled to Not Hold Themselves Accountable! Fuck Working Minimum Wage for Assholes Who Outsource Jobs to Other Countries! Fuck Slavery! Fuck Bullying! Fuck Buying Shit We Don’t Need to Replace The Shit We Already Don’t Need! Fuck Money Makes You Happy! Fuck The One Percent!
    I possibly left some Fuck “Blank” Out. These are closest to my heart and are always on my mind. Let’s change the future by accepting our past actions as reality, to not actively live in denial, and to make our actions 100 percent accountable to ALL Living Things! Just Once!
    Reality Check World!
    Thank You For Speaking Up and Listening!
    -Luke D.

  33. SamanthaJean1987 says:

    Roseanne I’m totally with ya! You have my vote! Love ya!

  34. The Hellcat says:

    I’m in! If you need any help with your campaign in CT, I’m your woman. I think what you have said here is magnificent and LOGICAL! I will be proud to stand with you, Ms. Barr.

  35. Dear Roseanne, I watched you when you were doing stand-up, and loved you then. I watched your tv show every week. It made me laugh, sometimes cry, i was said when it went off the air. To me it was the first real show about a real american family. You always had and still have a way with telling the truth with a little funny thrown in. I applaud you for all your achievements. You always kept it real, you stayed true to who you are, and always live your life like you were still one of us once called middle-class citizens, which now are considered poor/lower-class because of our war hungry, power hungry men caused such a recession. To cut it short, If you were to run for any office you would definately have my vote, and I know many others who would also vote for you. You totally Rock Roseanne! Keep UP your Awesomeness, YOU are a Goddess. OH and I think people should mind their own business when it comes to issues with your neighbor, I am sure you will resolve your personal issue as only ROSEANNE would handle, if yo haven’t already. but moving away from your home is a fair answer for you. You have every right to stay in your home<3<3 Kellie From Philadelphia

  36. ErynneLindsy says:

    <3

  37. shiningstar says:

    Thanks for your message at RSE.Powerful women:JZ Knight, Linda Evan and yourself. Woman Power is the message to the world and more women must leave powerless consciousness and take up their power. Roseanne all of this Jesus conversation usually is with people who easily quote the Bible and Jesus but have never really read it. If they read it at all it is with the perception of what they have been taught by their elders so one who kills at will(Jehovah) becomes a good guy. Jesus, they teach, was a poor man(can create gold from a fishes mouth) wish I could do that. Would anyone call me poor? I’d surely be working overtime at amassing plenty of that shining stuff at $1,500.00 an oz today. This twisting the truth was created to keep the power(as always) in the hands of those who have the power. I would be pleased for you to read my book “Jesus or Jehovah” and see the difference in the teaching. Love you Rosie. You are both an inspiration and a Light to the world. We can change our world if more leaders, like you three, keep pushing truth to the world.

  38. shiningstar says:

    Thanks for your message at RSE.Powerful women:JZ Knight, Linda Evan and yourself. Woman Power is the message to the world and more women must leave powerless consciousness and take up their power. Roseanne all of this Jesus conversation usually is with people who easily quote the Bible and Jesus but have never really read it. If they read it at all it is with the perception of what they have been taught by their elders so one who kills at will(Jehovah) becomes a good guy. Jesus, they teach, was a poor man(can create gold from a fishes mouth) wish I could do that. Would anyone call me poor? I’d surely be working overtime at amassing plenty of that shining stuff at $1,500.00 an oz today. This twisting the truth was created to keep the power(as always) in the hands of those who have the power. I would be pleased for you to read my book “Jesus or Jehovah” and see the difference in the teaching. Love you Rosie. You are both an inspiration and a Light to the world. We can change our world if more leaders, like you three, keep pushing truth to the world.

  39. shiningstar says:

    Rosy, thanks for sharing your delightful presence and input with the Ramtha people at RSE. JZ Knight, Linda Evana and you are, fom my perspective the women creating the future for women of now and the tomorrows to come. You are living ideals that the women of the world are just awakening to. All leaders of the future are made out to be both crazy and stupid as you, of course know. Please check out my book “Jesus or Jehovah” on Amazon. The first study that separates the teachings of Jehovah from the teachings of Jesus so all can know why a man who only loved has been used to create hate and war. Go Girl. You are awesome.

  40. BLACK ART STARS says:

    Stay tune for the HOT NEW TV SHOW “THE CHAT” where you’ll meet 6 women with 6 different voices.
    For example: If we had Roseanne on as a guest today on our TV Show speaking about her plans to run for President of America and Israel.
    The segment would run like this:
    ( one of those 6 voices would say to Roseanne and the viewing audience):
    Roseanne,
    memo from a black female warrior that has survived white racism in the deep south of America and the negative bull shit that women dip their fingers into everyday, while they pretend this world is fucked up because of men and not by w-“omen” and their reckless tongues, minds and wombs.
    First of all if I jumped on Roseann Barr and kicked her ass, to get me off her ass, Roseanne would have to call for several armed men.( the police).
    In prison , Roseanne would get my tray.
    A woman that must call a man to get me off her ass can’t be my leader or my president.
    As a martial artist, I beat men’s asses everyday, so having a woman as my leader does not interest me unless that woman can demonstrate to me that she can back up what comes out of her mouth with her mind and her bare fist first.
    Then we move to weapons.
    You show me that you have physical fighting skills first, then I can hear what you’re saying.
    until then, you need to go get the man that you plan to have protect you, come and tell me about your leadership plans.
    Now,
    don’t you all wonder how Roseanne would respond to this woman ?
    Ratings through the roof!!!!!
    Paul Mooney would fall out of his chair.
    move over “The View”, “The Chat” is here.
    6 fierce women,( 2 black women, 2 latino women and 2 white women).
    Back to reality: “Roseanne you got our vote ‘
    you’re deep, only you could come up with some shit like this.
    to the haters,
    face it bitches, ROSEANNE BARR RULES.
    she’s a pioneer and if she was the president of America and Israel, she’d bring the fucking DISCO BALL BACK.

  41. BLACK ART STARS says:

    Stay tune for the HOT NEW TV SHOW “THE CHAT” where you’ll meet 6 women with different voices.
    For example: If we had Roseanne on as a guest today on our TV Show speaking about her plans to run for President of America and Israel.
    The segment would run like this:
    cue: one of the 6 young women speaking to Roseanne would say:
    Roseanne,
    memo from a female warrior.
    first of all if I jumped on Roseann Barr and kicked her ass, to get me off her ass, Roseanne would have to call for several armed men.( the police).
    In prison , Roseanne would get my tray.
    A woman that must call a man to get me off her ass, can’t be my leader or my president.
    As a martial artist, I beat men’s asses everyday, so having a woman as my leader does not interest me unless that woman can demonstrate to me that she can back up what comes out of her mouth with her mind and her bare fist first.
    Then we move to weapons.
    You show me that you have physical fighting skills first, then I can hear what you’re saying.
    until then, you need to go get the man that you plan to have protect you, come and tell me about leadership.
    Now, don’t you all wonder how Roseanne would respond ?
    Ratings through the roof!!!!!
    Paul Mooney would fall out of his chair.
    move over “The View”, “The Chat” is here.
    6 fierce women,( 2 black, 2 latino and 2 white).
    And know this the white women on “The Chat” don’t play .( no becky shit here).
    They bring it and they’re ultra fierce, so get ready to see something NEW!!
    ROSEANN,
    GIRL…..YOU GOT OUR VOTE AND WE LOVE YOU MA.
    But you deep,
    only Roseanne could come up with some shit like this.
    Roseanne is a pioneer, face it bitches.
    she rules.
    where we sign up to get this shit started?

  42. politicaldavid says:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLr8ZvgURg0&feature=share
    Another well informed no bullshit set of observations and action items. “Ex CIA agent explains how to delete the elite. Add this to your platform :)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLr8ZvgURg0&feature=share

  43. witcherysyles says:

    I agree with you Roseanne. Men have taken everything and given nothing back. I am Wiccan, and even with men and religion, women are nothing but dirt. If it wasn’t for female there would be no male. At least with Wiccan we believe in a God and a Goddess, that way we are equal. I hope that you do run for president, maybe you could give the US something to be proud of, instead of needless wars and conquests just for political gains. I am so glad that someone has spoke up for us.

  44. witcherysyles says:

    I agree with you Roseanne. Men have taken everything and given nothing back. I am Wiccan, and even with men and religion, women are nothing but dirt. If it wasn’t for female there would be no male. At least with Wiccan we believe in a God and a Goddess, that way we are equal. I hope that you do run for president, maybe you could give the US something to be proud of, instead of needless wars and conquests just for political gains. I am so glad that someone has spoke up for us.

  45. Apparently your going to have some very interesting competition in the elections, Roseanne, as who it was just reported on is running for president and produced his document proving he was born in the USA—Donald Trump!! LOL!
    He is a great businessman but I don’t know if he would do any good as a president, or if we could afford him at that! I can only imagine the White House transformation if he’s elected, with solid gold walls and the entire West Wing probably transformed into Melania’s shoe closet, which of course is the only type of closet our first lady hopeful would need as the $80,000 dresses she wears would all be recycled because Fmr. Miss World runner up would never be caught dead wearing it twice!
    Hopefully your elected Roseanne, because if he gets into office then I think it’d be official that the United States has turned into a freak show and it’d be the appropriate time to start fleeing the country.

  46. I totally hate any religion that places women as second string on some imaginary hierarchy. To suggest we were created from man like an after thought should make all women enraged, yet we buy into this crap. Brainwashed at childhood, still holding on to the belief that we are responsible for a males inability to control his tally whacker. We’re original sin and must be covered or mutilated or tortured. All these religious texts created by males, and twisted for their own purpose of controlling women are completely irrelevant and dangerous. We are the true leaders, it just comes natural for us, it’s time for us to stand up to this crap and do what makes sense.

  47. Rosanne:
    Hello and how are you. The new Green Tea Party? I teach Sociology and know the history of America and the world. As a feminist I am not a radical, I still want men in the world, however, I do know that the most eqalitarin societies are those that are controlled and operated by women.
    I am an American and I am in agreement with your platform and hope that you do run. I for one would put off my teaching to help with your campaign if you would have me.
    The Evangelical Religious Right and those phoneys who control our Congress and espouse Religion and the 400 Wealthy White men that own the majority of our nations wealth are all ripping off not just America and America’s future, but that of the worlds’ as well and it must stop.
    I am an America that now stands in front of her college students when they say they want to leave America after I have shown them the truth and have to muster enough patriotism to tell them what the late great Utah Phillips said “Be loyal to your country always, only to your government when it deserves it” and that it is up to them to join the fight to take back America. More and more every day it is becoming difficult to believe it myself.
    Riding my bike with my husband yesterday I broke down and cried because I no longer live in the country that I was raised to believe in, the country that my grandfater, father, uncle, and brother have all fought for. The Wall Street crooks and the fascist Politicians are robbing our people and raping our country of all of its wealth and natural resources.
    If we legalized hemp today we could have an entirely new economic breakthrough just like we did during WWII with the automobile industry or like Silican Valley and the Techno economy.
    This page is not long enough to discuss the over 50,000 industrial uses of hemp or the insane policies that led to the outlawing of hemp and those that still ban it.
    Rosanne I hate to say it. The problem with this country is that we have raised several generations of people who feel they are entitled to anything and everything they want without having to work for it. An apathetic public that is uneducated and disenchanted, and lack the social capital that leads to voting and political civic involvement.
    We are become a 3rd World Nation. We have been steadily loosing our middle class since the late 1970s that was hastened with the Reagan Administration of the 1980s, the Bush Administrations of the 1990s and 2000s, and Clinton’s 1996 Welfare Reform have all done their fair share of selling out the bulk of the American people. Corporate CEO’s Like the Koch Brothers have no moral compus, their blood has turned green.
    It is not the penis’s staying in their pants that we must worry about. We must worry about those men that allow the mighty dollar to drag them around. GREED is the end our our species.
    Biologically all life forms on this planet have a life span including us. Men are cutting it short for all of us. What they don’t realize that they can’t drink natural gas and survive either.
    Our Corporate and Political crooks,Industrial Farmers, and Engery Companies are all leading the demise of our planet.
    We are loosing are bee population by 30% per year. Of the 100 plants that we Americans use to feed ourselves and the world 70 are pollinated directly by bees. These selfless little creatures are at the core of life on this planet.
    Albert Einstein said that if the bees go then we will go, it will be plants, animals, the planet, and us within four years all life on this planet will die, if bees are driven to extinction.
    I believe that the only way to save our species and our planet to to revolt, we must OUTLAW ALL POLLUTION CAUSING CHEMICALS AND PRODUCTION NOW.
    A revolt requires a nation that is focuses and concerned and I don’t feel Americans have it in them. Sheep!
    But, climate change has shown us that we as humans have ruined our chance or survival. Our mother will not stand for her own demise, she will get rid of the source of her own demise–we humans are nothing more than parasites on this planet, and for the planet’s survival it is essential for us to die.
    For people to survive religion must die. Organized Evangelical Political Religions must die in order for the rest of us to survive.
    Keep on keeping on Rosanne, you have my luck and if you need any help on a campaign I would be more than happy to put off a semester or two, take a sabatical to work with you. If for no other reason just to get the word out to that part of our population that does not participate in the system but are hurt the most by it.
    Sincerely,
    Diane
    ddh_1964@yahoo.com

  48. It doesn’t really matter how much money someone has but what responsibility they take with it, like giving back. Some, like the Koch Brothers, use it to try to destroy the middle and lower class which is just wrong to do because without the middle and lower class then there is no higher class—there’s just the rich and the poor and there’s a reason for the old expression of learning from the past—-because it has a history of repeating itself and societies like that have existed before and the outcome is never good, like during the French revolution where all the rich were rounded up and beheaded.
    People like Roseanne though are actually noble in what they do, they can accumulate a fortune and still not loose a sense of reality and realize that poor people are equally important. Roseanne has given back a lot and fights for the right causes that are not out of greed and for that she deserves respect.

  49. ErynneLindsy says:

    I’ve always loved your comebacks! Reason why I still watch Roseanne on television! It’s HONEST! “another angry rich person”? Why shouldn’t they be angry. Or everybody for that matter? There’s a lot of stupid shit going on in the world.

  50. Didn’t Margaret Cho already do this schtick?
    Also it’s amusing to watch yet another rich star get “angry” all of a sudden. As if all the problems you mention haven’t been around for a while.
    Ironically, the Red Star on your hat represents a system that would have long ago put you in a political prison and tossed away the key.
    Censorhip being the hallmark of their era.
    Speaking of censorship. Anyone who disagrees with you is banished. That however, does not stop the population of the planet from increasing at three additional people per second.
    You can blame men all you want. But it’s Hillary selling the weapons to dictators and declaring war on civilians. Got to keep those Wal Marts stocked. Got to keep all the millionaires stocked up in hair dye and microphones.
    Finite planet. Finite resources.
    It’s not men Roseanne. It’s heterosexuals who keep breeding more kids and then blaming everyone but themselves when the shit hits the fan.
    Talk about being against nature!
    Oh and the interview with Michael Moore was fascinating. There you sat all posh talking about “the People.”
    Go work in a sweatshop for a year and then we’ll talk.
    Go to Pakistan and duck drone missiles being lobbed in the name of protecting oil supplies. Then we can listen to your anger.
    Limousine liberals do more harm to social justice than good. You turn real issues into a cartoon and a way to vent your narcissistic angst.
    Then, when the sales of the book taper off, you’ll go back to your large home and large stack of cash and get your hair done again, and wonder why no one listens to
    you.
    At least Michael Moore has the good graces to turn the camera on the people being oppressed.
    Oh and…
    Spay and Neuter Your Heterosexuals. It’s so sad when they end up on the streets, hungry, destroying the community and the environment.
    Three additional children per second on a finite planet.
    Be sure to tell your grandchildren about that fact before it’s too late. It’s not men Roseanne. It’s you.
    Everyone wants all the luxuries and necessities that you have. Who decides who gets what?
    And when things start to run low, as they are now, wars get worse because no one wants to give up their goodies. Certainly not you. (Nice leather jacket you got there.)
    Can’t blame men for your breeding and shopping habits honey.
    Look in the mirror, and tell yourself to fuck off.
    Because right now, there are people dragging their starving asses across borders trying to escape the wars caused by the shopping and breeding habits of this consumer society.
    How to resolve it? Pointing a finger at people even wealthier than you and pulling out a guillotine diminishes the discussion. Telling people to fuck off diminishes the discussion.
    It begins with you taking a look at you. I know that’s not going to happen. Narcissism is such a heady drug.
    The fame monster is the worst vanity. Makes you loose and hard to swallow.
    But do know that there is a new gay rights movement afoot that is asking these questions of heterosexuals who breed without responsibility, then blame others for the damage to the environment.
    The same wants to know how a millionaire star who blames men for their problems can stand the hypocrisy of being so well dressed, having had so many more kids, and then not see the connection between that and the problems of war.