July 6, 2009

my book is due in less than thirty days

I am trying not to implode and torpedo this project right at the end, but it is getting harder. I sent three chapters in to my editor three weeks ago, and was told notes were coming the following week. When they did not come the following week, I wrote my editor again who told me she was pretty busy but that notes were coming by monday of the next week. On wed. I got an email from her that said "good news!" in subject line.

The "GOOD NEWS" just happened to be that she got a better job and was turning my work over to another editor, whom I met once briefly. That female didn't respond for a couple more days, and then told me she was very busy and that she would get me some notes by today. It is noon in new york and there is no word from her. I don't think my book publisher really gives a damn about a book from me, and so I think, why even bother? "You are rich and can leave this business which has less than no respect for you and be happy doing real things."
But, I cashed the check as the saying goes. Everytime I do that, I regret it, and know that something is due someone now. I wish I was one of those who gets paid to write, but so far no one ever hires me. It is a particular fall from grace I think. I know other people have once been very popular and then just faded away gracefully (gracelessly). I want to fade away too, but on my own terms. I want to fade away because people are completely displeased by me. At that point I will know my work here is complete and my "message" delivered...everything in this culture sucks because we are addicted to Bullshit and cannot live an hour without more of it.
We must eat two yards of hot running foul diseased bullshit a day, cramming it down our pipe to grease the way for more of it. Americans would rather lose their homes and their jobs, and their children before they stop taking that drug. Worse than crackheads, who at least know they have some sort of a problem, the american woman doesn't have a clue. She does not want a clue and kills the messenger instead. LOL! it is all so perfect. So perfect that patriarchy has collapsed in on itself, with its pomp and circumstance and its wars and "events." For women around the globe, slavery, prostitution, ruin. that these men at the top, these handfull of evil men at the top of the tower of babble (bullshit) need stronger and stronger examples of their sexual power over women, of women's degradation under their heel, of making her collude in her own destruction, like the story of O ten billion times. they are stuck in sm, in the story of o (OPRAH?)
I say it is time for those sexually diseased men who are addicted to pedophilia and SM, and usually cocaine as well, to listen to the suicidal voice in your own heads, and not try to drug it away, but obey it, step aside and get out of the way.

the queendom of the goddess is at hand.
cleopatra's genius will soon show itself as her libraries are unearthed in the hidden vaults she designed with her own mind and hands, bleeding and creating Rome in the process. I know what is in those libraries: the truth about human history from africa to egypt, and not the other way around as the entire european braintrust knows and fears the knowledge of this fact. When the truth is told, there will be no rome, no vatican, just brutalized women supplying pedophiles with children to harm. No Jerusalem, just brutalized jewish and palestinian women supplying the war their own children for fodder. 2012 is the last patriarchal year.
this is one hundred days of salo. i am fsbinder

Posted at 8:38 AM   -  Permalink