February 24, 2009

D I D

there are some horrible parts to this disorder, contrary to popular belief it is not all fun and games. most of it is fun and games, but the problem comes in when you have to access a memory. You cannot find it in your mind at all, you have no memories at that moment. After a few moments of scanning the files you usually can retrieve the memory, but sometimes you will be searching the memory banks for years and forget that you live somewhere. When these kind of "attacks of amnesia" come upon you, they are absolutely terrifying. Usually you can "return to consciousness" after a few moments of concentration, but if you are overly panicked and cannot breathe, your terror can escalate to out of control proportions. You must always have your name and address and particulars written on paper on your body.
Sometimes I could not breathe and began to become panicked and violent. I learned that to control my breathing, meant I could control my panic attacks. I began to decrease my psychiatric medication after meditation began.

Posted at 6:11 PM   -  Permalink