February 2008 Archives

TROLL'S HANDBOOK

By Rick Overton

Are you sick of watching our country turn into a bunch of tax-paying, border-crossing, over-educated Pinko's, ruining your American Dream? Does a lower back or glandular weight problem keep you from returning to your job? Need to express the outrage that our heroes on the radio command us to feel all day long?

Then welcome to the wonderful world of Trolling!

If you've got a penchant for spirited and witty repartee - or even if not - then Trolling is for you.

It's fun and easy - "Easy" being the operative word here. Hey, who wants to actually work when you can stay in your Mom's basement and type?

Still, there are some basic requirements: The Three C's

Cynicism - Stay on track towards the objective. That goal being - to keep your targets off track and fighting amongst themselves. Remember how disappointed you were when you put a penny on the tracks and it didn't derail the train like you were lead to believe? Well this time you get to see how effective a derail you can create by throwing in your TWO CENTS! Honest interchange of ideas becomes a train-wreck! It's totally awesome!

Conscience Control - Whenever your gut starts lying to you, saying that what you're doing is wrong, just remember that people basically suck. Hey, look at your own childhood if you need proof, You've known your entire life that everyone else's experience has to be basically the same as yours, so you can rest assured you're doing the right thing.

Computer and Internet service -Being anonymous is essential. It's not cowardice, my friend. It's about being able to threaten anyone you want or always writing in CAPS, BUT WITHOUT HAVING THE FBI, CIA, NSA OR OTHER ORGANIZATION IN ALL CAPS showing up at your door.

FAQ's - OR - (Frequently asked questions)

Q: Do I need a College diploma?
A: Hell no! Three words: HISTORY CHANNEL!

Q: Do I have to be a good and reasonable guy?
A: You only have to pretend you are. Study and copy others who have those weak traits. You don't have to "Play-Weak" forever, just until we're totally in charge of everything.

Q: What kind of handle/name should I choose?
A: There's a lot to consider here. I recommend something with a commanding tone, like idominateyou or iwin-youlose. It scares the opponent into respecting you. Topgunchucknorris45 is cool, because it contains your favorite movie, your favorite actor and your age. Sometimes it's cool to show your knowledge of weaponry - sniperscope1, killdagger or shootergamzinmyrumpusroom. Crossherrman is awesome, but it's already taken.

Q: Can I be ironical, like Ann Coulter?
A: Irony is a dangerous device. Not unlike a Daisy Cutter, it can blow up on you as easily as on your opponent, but you could pose as something clever like liberalhippyleftycommie69 just to fake out the bleeding hearts into listening to your non-point.

Q: How about sex? Sex makes me laugh. I like sex stuff.
A: Sex is always good for a giggle. Handles like minz-waybigger lightens the tone, and loosens up the whole site.

Q: How's about if I wanna look smart?
A: Handles like iamsensible, or welledgeicatedguy might just fit the bill. Try to steer clear of names like myrrageisoutofcontrol or dadtouchedme, as those tend to put your credibility in question. The great part is, you don't have to keep just one handle. We can provide you with multiple lines out, so you can keeps threads going on forever by fighting with yourself. It's fun being several dudes at once! Some of you already are, anyway.

Q: What if my opponent is smarter than me?
A: They all are, but that's not the point. Smart is the new gay anyhow. You just take whatever phrases they come up with, and throw them right back! If they call you a Neo-Tard, you call them a Lib-Tard. If they say you are a troll, call them a troll. It confuses them, which is all we want. Like a hand grenade, toss it back before it goes off. The Romans never invented anything, they just took it by force! Look how long THEY lasted! Don't have exact the numbers, but I'm pretty sure it was a lot of years.

Q: What do I do if the ideological jerks gang up on me?
A: Don’t worry! We'll send in back up re-enforcements with statements like "I totally agree with you!" and "You have a good point!" For some unexplainable reason, your enemies have power - the power to reach regular, honest and decent people. That's why we attack their sites in what amounts to a sort of wolf-pack-raid. You'll never be alone, except of course when you log off, or when your Mom goes shopping.

Q: What about Conspiracy Theorists?
A: This is a more complicated issue. We have people on both sides of the political coin working on this one. Everything from UFO's to Kennedy to the Moon landing. All you need to know are a few key words and phrases to shame or shut down the opponent.

The standard ones are:

Tin-Foil Hat
Little Green Men
Kool aid
Absurd
Typical
Preposterous
Ridiculous
Hilarious
Moonbat (Personal FAVE)
ROFL
"Real studies show that..."
"No tangible proof of..."
"Have yet to find one shred of evidence of..."
"The majority of REPUTABLE scientists say that..."

Also, be sure to demand that the opponent bring you reams of evidence, like a slave. (Links, articles - make 'em work all night on it) Then, just throw it all out and laugh at them anyway! It never fails! They all want to "Teach us", "Help us", "Save us from ourselves" and BS like that. They all believe everyone's inherently good inside -LOL!

Q: Is God okay with me lying?
A: It's not YOU who is lying. It’s only skullcrushfella19 who's bending the truth, remember? God simply goes off your real name on a big printout sheet. Don't go weak on us before we even get you started. God wants us to win, first and foremost. He doesn't care how you do it and doesn't need to know the details.

Q: Is spelling and grammer a problem?
A: In a war of words, your going to need to have you're linguistical arsenal in place. Thier going to be ready. Are you? Personally, I'm addicted to Foniks. It's the shortest distance between hear and they're for conkerring those big words.

Now kneel thee, good sir knight, for thou art now in the company of kings. Kings Of The Keyboards! A grand tradition that dates back approximately 4-5 1/2 years. Our domain is all we survey, and extends for as far as we can see. So put on your corrective glasses, your Carpal Tunnel braces and get into the game! It IS all just a game to us, you know.

Well, gott'a run - Hot Pocket's ready. Mmm-Hmmm. Life is sweet under the bridge.

lowdown dirty shite are bush and cheney doing while we are preoccupied with the hillary-barack stuff?

dum dum dum dum dum dum deedle dee dumm!!! (music from JAWS).

my new t shirt for 09: IMPEACH MCCAIN!

but i am glad that Britney's dad took my advice and moved in to be with his little girl to get her straightened out! I am glad that Federline is allowing visitation with her kids and has put his need to punish her behind what is right for the kids.

of "Roseanne" told the story of Roseanne Connor who, having become a multimillionaire buys the factory in her town where she previously worked and quit in an organized pro-union walkout. At that time, a reporter asked me if I thought the Roseanne Show was the thing that paved the way for Hillary Clinton, a new kind of first lady. I said I did think so, and that the women of my generation were tough fighters that rose to the destiny that the times called for. I have always been politically committed to telling the truth about class in America.
I tell the readers of my words the truth as I see it. I call out the powerful when they need it. I take the retort too. I can handle it. I look forward to being on air america with johnny argent this week!

they're all here.

whoever wins this time will wish they didn't. They will have to preside over the collapse of American capitalism. He says Obama is the sacrificial lamb. Read all of his columns by clicking on Johnny's column to the right of the blog.

Clearly, our leaders have failed us.
Clearly, we've found grounds for impeachment.
Clearly, we have reached others.
Clearly, the fight is not over.

While we can and will continue on fighting for the impeachment of Bush and Cheney, we must now also focus on the here and now that will affect our very near future:

ELECTION 2008

As all "good" things must come to an end, our Impeach section will soon turn into a brand new area entitled, VOTE 08. While we will never forget the work we have done and will continue to do when it comes to the call for impeachment, we will soon convert this section in order to organize our future.

Thank you.

me and Mr. Johnny filling in five days, feb. 25th - 29th for the show called "Clout With Richard Greene." 5pm to 7pm West Coast time. Either tune into your local Air America station, or on the Web at www.airamerica.com.

I read the Business Section in the paper every morning (Yes, I'M the one) and that's where they hide the really terrifying, sensational, blockbuster news beneath dry headings beyond which they know most people won't read . A Hollywood star's drug overdose holds a lot more interest for the average person who still has beer and movie money than some "boring" crap about the impending collapse of the Dollar or the death of the Oceans. Big Media has us trained. Somebody has to do it...keep us distracted, that is.
I thought I'd drop a few words in here about how the Chinese are just about to start wiping their butts with dollars. That's all...just a few words. Money is not patriotic - Surprise! Oh, by the way, almost half the world is Chinese.
In the spirit of the ever-shrinking attention span, (anybody still with me?). I've crafted the following Economic-Political mini Lesson. It's in the form of a question:
"How long did we figure that less than 5% of the Earth's people could eat HALF the pie while EVERYBODY ELSE watched?"

Citizens of The World: Welcome to the future!

and I will take a couple of stufft crust double cheese and pepporoni pizzas over to my girlfriend kirstie's house, and we will get some scientology honchos fired up and they will scientaser your lame no- good- taste- having asses into next week!!!

you all have really gone too far this time!!! You bastards are calling my awesome goddess boots tacky!? Your mothers couldn't blow enough sailors in two years to pay for boots like these! They cost more than those f**ing trailers you are living in! You are calling my boots tacky when you search thru britney spears toilet for gossip you smarmy motherf*&kers! If it wasn't for people like me you jackoffs would be homeless..do you want me to come down there and stick my gorgeous boots up your stretched out rupert murdoch asses...get a real f@#king job!!!! You all get your shoes at payless with star jones you lame ass sh^%t heads!!!!! WHO THE F@#K DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TALKING TO, DELTA BURKE? YOU THINK THAT BITCH IS CRAZY? YOU MAKE ONE MORE REMARK ABOUT MY GORGEOUS HAND TOOLED GODDESS BOOTS, AND I MIGHT SWITCH MY SUPPORT TO OBAMA AND HAVE OPRAH COME DOWN THERE AND LAY THE SHITTHAMMER DOWN ON YOUR FUc%ING BOTTOMFEEDER ASSHEADS!!! where the f%ck do you assholes think YOU would be without TACKY? I put all of your rotten brats through college on the stories my then husband sold you about me to pay for his drugs!!! You f*%king bastards are roger clemmons and I'm steroids!!!! without me you are senator larry craig in an empty mens room!!! I made you motherf#@kers!! f- you! I might have to convert to evangelical christianity and get huckabee's four hundred pound son to hang you like he hung that dog at bible camp!!! seriously you guys don't like my boots? You hurt my feelings with that.. i designed them my self...they are pictures of all the goddesses from Isis to cleopatra, demeter and mary! they are a work of art!!! (pardon my moodswing)...

contest in the writing forum...

I'm the least repulsed and offended by Obama, which is my version of a ringing endorsement. Nobody can pass through the near-endless, cutthroat Capitalist, Fascist Filtration System which is the American Presidential Reality Show and then seriously threaten the Status Quo that the country's proprietors keep firmly in place. Having said that, the prime consideration for me is: which candidate might still have even the faintest memory of NOT being in power. I think that's as close to having a strength as Obama's going to get.
Let's face it, in order to provide or preserve jobs or, for that matter, do much of anything in a system where even God is money's bitch, a politician (or Junior Partner in America, Inc. as I think of it) has to have their head so far up Big Money's ass that they can't see daylight - then the lights are turned out, again, and we can go back to staring at Britney Spears.
Even the voting charade is part of the racket but it IS the part where everybody on the plantation gets to stand up and be counted, usually fraudulently as in recent "elections." Lots of people know it's fixed so they don't bother. The proof? If they gave a $100 bill away to each voter, zillions of disenfranchised people would show up. But they don't...and they don't - which pretty much shows that countless millions know that their vote's not even worth a hundred bucks.
If there was more of a Socialist system in place, things might improve for a lot more people, but that would leave the tiny fraction of Americans who are the most "successful" tragically short of sports cars and ski vacations, and that is utterly unacceptable in our Democracy. The successful people, like the ones in Government only like Socialism when it's time to collect taxes or tell soldiers that it's time to go far away and shoot people for Freedom in countries that we haven't sold weapons of mass destruction lately. We're #1 in weapons sales. (Yay! You can't take THAT away from us!!)
So, yeah...I'm rooting for The Black Guy with the Arab middle name. It won't make tons of difference anytime soon, but the rest of the world might hate us a little less and that's better than nothing. Right?
Anyway, once the new President puts his hand on the book about the man who lived in a whale and swears to uphold what's left of the Constitution, it's only a few months till the next Presidential campaign, so....No worries!
THANKS FOR YOUR TIME - AND, GOOD LUCK, CITIZENS!

"there is only one party, and that is the money party. when the republicans have all pocketed the public's tax money, and the public gets sick of it, they throw in a democrat to pacify the masses."

is so amazing in "away from her", a great and haunting movie that boomers will love so much! I am in awe of her acting in this movie, see it... I hope she wins the oscar for it!

Monsanto (read it here)

is righteous, and may the Force be with her, she is agreeable to dividing jerusalem, i have lots of posts here about that..read them..dividing it will unite the world!

i am realizing today that all this campaigning is a distraction from the people's demand that pelosi and reid end this war...remember, iraq did NOTHING to us, and it has NO ARMY.

the funniest essay 300 words max..free tix to my vegas show, and dinner on me, plus i will publish it and your name on my blog...linda and dan can help me pick the winner. post them in the writer's forum...or pm them to me here

women who choose to vote for a woman over a man are sexist AND racist!! that's how the media is spinning it.

noam, nancy, hello kitty hitler and a cacao bean LOL

"those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their mind wake to find that all was vanity. But the dreamers of the day are dangerouse men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes to make it possible. This i did".
-T.E. Lawrence ( lawrence of arabia..freedom fighter)

back far enough you will find alot of info from me on repentance and admitting you were wrong...its a great thing to entertain the idea that you can fix your past mistakes and not have to drag them into the future with you.

at michael moore's oscar brunch thingy. (i hope sicko wins for best doc). hope todd haines wins too...he was a doll, and so was great to meet him and larry charles! Another guy said i could write restauraunt reviews for his magazine..oh my god, a dream of mine come true!!!! I forgot... i met ricky gervais too..i hope its not too immodest of me to say that these people wanting to congratulate me and say such nice things about my work was feeling quite good!

be a hollywood party without someone coming up to tell me what a great person tom arnold is!

has featured this blog as one of the worst incoherent celebrity blogs in existence. That's a thumb's up as far as we are concerned. Aol sells all personal info to the fbi, and so if they think I suck, then things are definitely looking up!

A READER HERE SAYS:
Folks.. this is true. In addition to them tracking and recording your every move on the internet, they have become a government test bed for internet censorship. For those of you still on aol, you are not only being monitored under a microscope, you are also being censored and often charged more for products and services. There are many sites that you go to, that test your browser, and if you are on aol, your content is altered, often charging you more for products and services, in addition to censoring the content on sites.

You don't have to take my word for it. You can easily test this. Select about 10 sites, some of them that offer products for purchase, and view them through your aol account, and then view them on a different computer that is not using an aol account.

aol will tell you that they are just making things easier for you... HA!

of ARTEMIS.

campaigning for her man!

needs to be talked about in this campaign. It is a central theme to jewish progressives and to jewish neocons. In a way I feel that the whole obama-clinton "fight" is just media invented misdirection...neither of them talk about Israel at all, except to assure its lobbyists that they are on board and will not condemn the aggression and misery that endlessly goes on there. It has so much to do with why we are at war!

and not a zionist.