Chuck Lorre's hit list:


cybil s.

brett butler
charlie sheen
( stars who lost big when working with Chuck)
  I was going to guest on 2 and a half men once, but when i got the script, it was putrid, so they got cam manheim to do it.
Chuck got pissed off at me for refusing to be part of his brilliance, and insulted me in the nyt, saying that I “beat the wit out of him.”  Then, right after he did that, he asked me to make a videotaped presentation honoring him at a vanity dinner.  I never really worked with him, as he was mostly drunk when he was on my show, and too busy making deals with my producers for shows that copied mine (grace under fire, and Cybil’s show that copied AB FAB, which I once owned, and therefore sunk my hopes of producing) to turn in too many good scripts. 
   I feel sorry for Charlie Sheen, (and brett and cybil, both of whom were often out in the parking lot screaming at Chuck and crying) who has to not only be the bi-polar wizard Charlie Sheen, but had to toil as a tool for Lorre Enterprises Inc. and the preternaturally large Julie Chen’s very old comedically incontinent husband, Les, the power behind cbs, the network of choice for the dentally challenged.
   Worst of all, though, Charlie had to be so degraded as to mouth some of the shittiest dick tit pussy and shit jokes that ever dribbled out of an actor’s mouth, rolled down his chin, and stained his shirt, thereby making ingesting knock out drugs a must in order to sleep shamelessly at night, and then snorting nose cavities full of stimulants upon waking to mask the soul decay that stared back at him in the morning mirror. After beating up prostitutes, and testifying against Heidi Fleiss, who supplied them unknowingly for his beating pleasure, Charlie was scouted by Chuck to help bring sexism back to tv and the culture at large, under a little known MKULTRA program designed to control the ‘minds’ of chronically masturbating males, ages 14-94.
  The level of misogynistic bougie corporate sponsored anti-human beer swilling smug white frat boy humor that has successfully avoided ever even approaching the lowest level of social relevance makes for great entertainment for Tea Partiers as they vote against their own kids’ interests.  They need a beacon, a break in their lemming lives that inspires their laughter, and Chuck gives it to them. 
 Gettin’ any? har dee har.
That’s what she said.  har har har gulp har!